Gossip Girl: New York, I Love You XOXOX

The final Gossip Girl was on tonight. I have so many emotions: sadness, grief, relief, happiness...I'm almost as confused as Nate usually is. But really, what a fun (albeit frustrating) ride this has been. Gossip Girl I love(/hate) you, xoxox.

The most Gossip Girliest moments from the finale:

• Nate refuses to let Sage speak with the police because she's a minor. Her minor status does not stop him from sleeping with her. 
• What is up with the stilted way Hep C Jack is holding his tea tray? Best line: "I have terrible news: Bart's dead." I laughed way too hard at that.
• Dan's great face when Serena walks in. You know he's wondering where she gets all her clothes that highlight her boobs in the same way each week.
• I can't imagine this is the proposal/wedding scenario that Chair fans wanted but I think they're probably happy with the fact their beloved Chuck and Blair are going to be together. But really? A proposal in front of the guy you were basically sold to? Blair, I am ashamed.
• Of course Lily would stop in plain sight of the paparazzi while hugging/touching William. 
• So far no Rufus. But we've heard Jenny's and Eric's names. 
• Blair's dress IS perfection. As is her hair and her head piece. SO much better than when she married Prince Louis (remember that awful hair - ugh).
• This whole thing about Dan's orgins as gossip girl is kind of hilarious. Flashback Chuck is purrrrfection.
• "Is Dan here as your date?" No, Blair. People didn't have time to get a date for your wedding. 
• When Nate figures out that Dan must be gossip girl while eavesdropping on the two young girls, my heart fluttered a second. Carrie Matthison would be proud.
• Blair's way too quick wedding was sweet. Nice call back with the "One word. Three letters. Yes."

• Side note: Rosie Larson is alive - on the Carrie Diaries.
• Vanessa sighting! Making a freaking peanut butter sandwich.
• Kristen Bell!!!! AND Rachel Bilson. Too much adorable. 
• All the flashbacks make me feel so old. They were all babies.
• Dan IS Gossip Girl. He is the only one who owns a hoodie. Jenny knew it was Dan and basically created her leaving NYC, which is actually a good way to explain her leaving. 
• Rufus sighting! Followed by a semi-nice father son talk but no waffles.
• Nate never sent in a tip. Nate's an angel. His eyebrows are his wings.
• This in conversation about who they all thought gossip girl was is making me very very happy. Dorota, Rufus, Nate....all people I too wished it would have been.
• So now they are all grown up. Nate is about to be a mayoral candidate (HAHAHAHA but makes sense based on all the adults on this show), Henry Bass is super duper adorable, Blair and Chuck are living happily together, Rufus got new glasses and married Lisa Loeb, Jenny still wears crappy eyeliner and has terrible hair, Olivia and Lola are starting in an award winning movie based on Ivy's life, Lily is back with William [I'm a little shocked but happy that she and Rufus didn't end up together], Georgina is with Jack (I'd watch that spin off), AND Serena picked the most god-awful wedding dress I've ever seen. Just as expected.  

Oh, Gossip Girl. I think this was a pretty great finale for the show that it was. I will miss the clothes and the cheese [that I ate during the show]. My only disappointment is that it didn't end on a close up of Dan's face with him going "You know you love me, XOXO" fade to black.  I hope for great careers for Leighton Meester and Penn Badgely (ok and the rest of them). I guess now I need to go back to writing about other shows. 

XOXO.

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Gossip Girl: The Revengers

This one line made the entire episode worth it:

"I don't know how Claire Danes does it - spying hurts my head." - Nate Archibald.

Mostly because a few weeks ago I did this:

Sigh, Gossip Girl, I will miss you.

Other great moments after the JUMP
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Gossip Girl: Almost Over

Dan: "So maybe the trick is to become Bart Bass."

Rufus: "Yeah but neither of us could never do that..."

NOT IN THIS SHIRT:

Other hilarious things about the episode:

• Blair asking Chuck if he ordered a Thanksgiving spread. Dirty!
• Dorota's canned yams.
• Lily being so proud of Serena for going grocery shopping.
• Blair's Thanksgiving pant suit is divine (as is her lipstick color)...but I think she should've worn the Pocahontas outfit to dinner. 
• "Don't worry - I'm not pregnant, I just miss you." Gross.
• Poor Nate is an idiot. Making out with Sage in like 5 minutes within seeing her. 
• "You must be in seventh heaven!" Hilarious. 
• I love that Blair tells Serena she doesn't want Dan to throw her (Serena) under the bus. Did they already forget about Sabrina in his first book?!
• Bart Bass is part robot.
• I wish Blair had binge on pie. That was great.
• HA! Nate punching Dan.
• Ugh - who names their final chapter "The Final Chapter"?

Two more episodes! Arg!

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Gossip Girl: Countdown to the End

I didn't get around to watching Gossip Girl last night because I was being social with some very nice people while watching Dancing with the Stars and becoming very uncomfortable at the amount of sex oozing from the tv screen between Val and Kelly.

So go read the Vulture recap (http://www.vulture.com/2012/10/gossip-girl-recap-season-6-episode-2.html)
to get not only great commentary on the episode but a little behind the scenes info since the writers got to appear on the episode. [The writer, Jessica Pressler, says Penn Badgely gives great eye contact which made me love him even more. Then I realized our couple name would be Pennee which is kinda like penne pasta (delicious) or like the way Desmond said Penny on LOST (even more delicious)]

They are much funnier than I can ever be and I am pretty sure all 782,000 viewers who still watch Gossip Girl actually read and contribute to the post in the comments section.


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Gossip Girl: Gone Maybe Gone

Gossip Girl is back! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOx100000. Can you tell I'm excited? I wasn't really...I mean I was pissed they killed Dair (Chair = endgame = eyerolls from me) but then, today, when running on the treadmill thinking about TV I remembered Serena reverted back to her crazy druggie self! I'm excited. But then at some point What About Brian is gonna show up and Barry Watson doesn't seem to be the kind of actor who would play part of the drug scene so I'm guessing she'll clean up pretty soon. On to the final (shortened) season of Gossip Girl!

Thankfully, the show gives us a brief glimpse of where everyone was 4 months ago and what they've been up to all summer.

Chuck and Blair: doing it. Then separated. Hmmmm.
Dan: in Tuscany, getting hair cuts, with Georgina and  typewriter, saying things like "I'm parched"
Nate: figuring out who Gossip Girl is and running the Spectator alllllll alone.
Serena: OD-ing on a train while wearing fantastic shoes.

Lily and Bart: travelling to the Hamptons and the Seychelles, saw ERIC (he is in the Hamptons after all) and renewing their vows. They're gonna need to get them divorced and her back together with Rufus in the next 9 episodes. C'mon. Waffles.

Cut to the present, this week's zany advenure and my random thoughts:

• Nate has a crazy mystery solving wall! Amazing. I love it. He's JUST like Carrie from Homeland. EXACTLY. 

The same.

• Blair is in Paris with a straight, Parisian Kurt Hummell look alike. Oh goodness, he sounds almost exactly like Prince Louis.

The same.

• Dan's been writing while Georgina looks on while wearing the craziest necklace. His hair looks......better? No, not really. It's like a white guy's attempt at the Kid n' Play look. 

• They group is trying to get together to find the missing Serena. Scooby gang, reunite!
• Chuck can really pull off a powder blue bow tie.

• For some reason, (another mystery) Blair and Chick are not together. There's surely a dumb reason. 
• Points to Gossip Girl for having people wear their seatbelts. I hate it when people on tv don't wear them. 
• Georgina hopes that Serena is on drugs. HA! Me too.
• Wait weren't these kids in college? What happened to that?
• Ugh Blair's hair still looks terrible. And yes, she and Chuck made an "agreement." Good lord.
• Rufus still wears tight jeans and poses strangely! [I barely noticed cause I was scanning the apartment for waffles]

• Another Ugh. Ivy is still on the show. Living with Rufus. And trying to play Rufus. 
• Ivy mentions Lola booked a show on NBC. Hilarious. 
• This plot line - looking for Serena and stopping at a convenience store - is really boring. Unless....the writers have decided to put the "gang" in places they've never been before all season. The zoo, an actual circus, a desert.
• BLAIR SAID COUNTRY STRONG!!!!! (please get her a guest role on Nashville) 
• Geez they love showing off Blake Lively's weird fake boobs. My friend Lil said they probably have their own contract.

Someone hire me when this show is over!

• Jenny mention! Red herring? Or a drop of a hint as to who Gossip Girl is?
• Poor Rufus is soooo slow. Mentally.
• Ok the searching for Serena just grabbed me back in with all the comments about Serena's possible wedding. The one liners are the best in the last few seasons.
• So Serena/Sabrina is a big fat liar. "Wisconsin? Do you even know where that is on a map?" Ha! 
• TWIST (not really): It's not Sabrina-rena's wedding - it's two gay men's weddings (David & David) who are wearing terrible hats. 
• Blair is an idiot for dumping Dan. He's constantly the voice of reason. And the head of crazy hair.

Why do I love you?

• Ivy trying to/successfully seducing Rufus is gross.
• Blair and Chuck's reason for not being together is that they both have things they need to do before they can be together. What? I can't imagine the Chair fans are happy about this other than the fact that it allows a giant reunion to happen towards the end of the season.

Rufus agrees. Gross. Hint: get maple syrup flavored lip gloss

• Ha! Chuck had to walk it off. Dirty.
• I just realized that Amir (? - the lady with Chuck who I don't care about) is Nadia from Lost. Sayid needs to get in here and kill Bart Bass with his feet. Take Ivy out too. Sayid is probably Gossip Girl. 
• Oh my. Dan walking in on Rufus and Ivy. His reaction was soooo perfect. Terrible that your father is sleeping with his invalid-ex-wife's fake niece, but worse that it's in YOUR bed. Oh Dan. This isn't starting out well for you.

Most disturbing image in Gossip Girl history.

My biggest complaints about this episode are 1) when reveal to Steven that Sabrina is actually Serena and he's not the one chasing after her being like "what the hell?! I thought you were the love of my life!" How is anyone so ok with that? And 2) Lily's terribly unflattering lace overlay dress. It made her looks so wide.

So what did you think? Only nine more hours! What's gonna happen? Who do you think likes breakfast more? Rufus or Walt Jr [on Breaking Bad]? What's up with Rufus's posing? Do you think it's cause his jeans are too tight?

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Possible Gossip Girl Endings

For some reasons (my laziness) this so called tv haiku blog has turned into a blog about only Gossip Girl. I’m ok with that. Since there are only 11 more episodes of Gossip Girl left next year, I decided to make a list the eleven ways I hope this show ends.

11) The entire group of “friends” board a plane and it crashes. At the end, a phone falls out of Nate’s pocket and the cracked screen shows that he IS Gossip Girl. Blood drips on the phone screen. Fade to black.

10) Bart Bass remains in the Upper East Side and in episode 10 is revealed to be a Cyborg. He then blows up everything – starting with Rufus. [I REALLY wanted Chuck to throw Bart off the roof last night]

9) Lily marries Bart again and then he really dies. We see it. They make sure to watch rigor mortis set in then watch as he is buried. Chuck moves to London, becomes friends with Madonna and picks up a fake British accent. Nate starts dealing pot and uses the Observer as his cover. Serena is his number one customer. Dan realizes he hates everything to do with the UES so moves away to Portland to write books and grow a beard. Blair runs her mom’s company successfully and meets a handsome, older man who treats her right.

8) At the final party of the series – probably Rufus and Lily’s wedding – Gossip Girl shows up and shoots everyone. She takes off the hoodie obscuring her face, the camera pans around and it’s Little J – eyeliner and all.

7) Chuck and Blair start to rekindle their love affair and then Blair remembers she slept with Jack who has hepatitis. She gets tested. Positive. Chuck then gets tested. Positive. Blair calls Dan to let him know he needs to get tested cause she slept with Jack way long time ago. Positive. Dan calls Serena. Positive. Serena calls like 1000 guys. ALL POSITIVE. They think Nate is the only one in the clear but no one is sure because they can’t remember who all they slept with. The episode ends with Chuck at the apartment waiting for Nate. He tells Nate he is positive for hepatitis. Nate’s face crumbles. They’ve been LOVERS THIS WHOLE TIME. Episode ends with real information on how serious hepatitis is. [Alternate scenario: substitute “hepatitis” with “herpes.” PSA is for proper condom use. Valtrex buys some advertising space.] 

6) Nate’s newest love interest in a beautiful, rich, young woman named Emily Thorne. Turns out she’s not only really Amanda Clarke, but is in fact the real Ivy and heir to the Rhodes fortune. She has a yearbook of all the UESers she wants revenge on and each week crosses out one of their faces. Her last foe is Serena, who she ends up killing with tainted cocaine and a “high heel mishap.” Someone off screen says, “We did it.” It’s Eric/Declan Porter. They smile. Screen fades to black. Revenge!

Read my top 5 suggestions after the JUMP!

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Gossip Girl: The Return of the Ring

Oh Gossip Girl. What did I do to deserve the POS you put out there as the season finale? It’s almost like every single character (ok not all) thought: “What can I do today that is incredibly stupid?” then did it.

Here's my thoughts on the good and the bad of the episode, broken down by character.

Serena
The bad:
1)      Decides to wear not only one, but two skirts that are way too short for her.
2)      Entitlement is off the charts.
3)      Seduces Dan and records it but doesn’t hide the camera very well.
The good:
1) Turns back to her party girl, cocaine sniffing ways. I actually liked this part.
2) Her dress for the divorce party was nice.***

Dan
The bad:
1) Fails to get a haircut.
2) Puts a timeline on when Blair has to declare her feelings for him – but then doesn’t wait before….
3) He has dirty bar sex with Serena.
4) Finds that Serena’s iPhone has recorded their interlude but DOESN’T DELETE IT.
5) One week later, still has not cut his hair.
The good:
1) He went to Rome.
2) He found Georgina and is now in cahoots with her.

Nate
The bad:
1) Asks Lola to move in with him after insulting her dreams by thinking she’s gonna play an oompa
         loompa
2) Is a little slow.
The good:
1) His eyebrows.
2) He has a tape that possibly shows who gossip girl is (and they are rifling through what looks like actual
        dirty laundry). He may be the one to unmask Gossip Girl –OR maybe HE’S Gossip Girl. I’d love that.

Blair
The bad:
1) That pink skirt. Too tight, too short.
2) She needs to grow up – or at least stop acting like she has grown up.
3) Stop trusting (and really having) minions.
4) Chuck? Again? Really?
5) She needed to break up with Dan first before heading off to see Chuck.
The good:
1) Eleanor is her mother.
2) Cyrus is her step-father.
3) She at least has tried to apologize to Dan.
4) She kicked out Serena. It’s about time. I wonder who gets to keep that bird thing Serena had hanging
         over her bed.

Chuck
The bad:
1) Stupidly trusts Bart.
2) Wore a light grey suit to a press conference.
3) Doesn’t want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf.
The good:
1) I guess I’m ok that he turned down Blair cause they need to fill 11 more episodes and you know these
         writers are gonna make those 11 all about Chuck and Blair.
2) We got to see that Jack is dealing with his HEPATITIS ok.

Other characters: The lily/Rufus/Bart storyline is ok I guess. I feel like Lily is getting screwed. Bart’s face doesn’t move and Rufus looked cute except for that weird necked sweater. Lola is the stupidest character that has ever been on this show. And Nate and Serena are on this show. That says a lot.

Did anyone else notice Dan was wearing a shirt that only had buttons halfway down it? It was weird.

So….are you satisfied with the season finale? What do you think the last eleven episodes will be about (spoiler: Chair)?

*** About this “divorce party”: do we know those people? [Answer: YES! They are the couple that got married at the beginning of the show when Serena had sex with Nate (while dating Blair) in the same spot she just had sex with Dan (while dating Blair)]Why was everyone invited? Do you really compliment the divorcee by saying, “You look just as beautiful in black as you did in white?” Is that a thing? And was anyone else pissed that the cake was cut in half? I understood the concept, but that whole area was gonna dry out. Don’t ruin good cake. Oh wait – these people are rich, and skinny. They don’t care.

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Gossip Girl: The Fugatives

I'm feeling sick so this will be brief:

• Dan's post shower hair is amazing.
• I'd buy that Jack and Bart were real life brothers.
• No way Blair would be THAT ok with Serena being Gossip Girl.
• Chuck's henchman/PI won't help him so he assembles his group of friends. They are NOT the avengers. 
• Why does Serena's sweater arms have holes in it. Again, I don't understand fashion.
• Diana's green dress is a gorgeous color. However, they are really into her cleavage on this show and it's starting to gross me out.
• I hate the involvement of Diana in anything. 
• Even with the reveal of Bart being alive, we still don't know who Chuck's real parents are.
• Roam in Rome. 
• "Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch Ivy happen." Stop bringing Ivy back....unless she starts sleeping with Rufus. I'd be ok with that.
• The interviewer was right to ask for the gelato - if you promise me gelato, you better bring it. 
• I love how these people get new clothes so quickly - Serena changing into her Blair garb, and Lola and Ivy finding whore outfits. I do like Serena's Blair dress.
• This episode of GG is their Scooby Doo episode.
• Prude complaint upcoming: Blair wants the next person she says "I love you" to be the last, but she's ok sleeping with anyone.
• Has Bart thought about how he wants to break the news to Lily? I suggest popping out of a giant box and yelling, "Surprise!!"
• Dan is such a grown up. As much as I like Dair, he's almost too mature for this group. And too unkempt.
• Blair is gonna create a spreadsheet of restaurants to eat at in Rome. I knew I loved her for some reason.
• My head is a foggy mess, but did GG just say that Serena gave Blair's diary to her? 
• The preview for next week has Serena getting undressed with Dan's help in a bar? She's such a whore.

The end. Maybe my lovely friends can leave everything I missed in the comments. With the help of some NyQuil, I'm off to bed!

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Gossip Girl: Raiders of the Lost Art

Double crossing, secret day planner, codes and twists(!) are abound in this week's Gossip Girl. My thoughts:

• I'm very surprised Dorota hasn't yet discovered Serena is Gossip Girl. Why isn't she nosey?
• The intel Nate stole was....a day planner? Boo. I thought it was the lost ark.
• Nate changed his mind so quickly to believing that Serena is Gossip Girl...I'm annoyed - then he offers Lola pancakes. I'm in love again. AND HE MADE THEM FOR HER! Double swoon [swoon swoon]
• OGB- Original Gangsta Blair. 
• Alessandra is still one of  my least favorite characters. Blech. She was only semi interesting when she slept with Chuck. I guess that's why they always out her in brown.
• Blair decides to help Chuck decipher a code. I like this episode so far. Intrigue. Ooooh.
• I love how on GG the characters always seem to explain everything for us watchers - I think mostly for Nate's sake (but he's so pretty).
• So far there is a secret day planner written in code, a key, Serena's double crossing and Jack's tan.
• Blair has to get into character and says words in a British accent that do not include: crumpet, the queen, or 'a spot of tea'.
• Blair owns a cypher slide. AMAZING.
•  Dan gets offered a summer in Rome. At a villa. Writing and being creative. Only he's hesitant to leave Blair. That is sweet. Stupid, but sweet.
• I liked Serena's dress until I saw her standing up in it. Why are the ruffles bunched around her crotch like that....oh that's right, she likes to draw attention to it. AND not only is she a terrible bad guy, she's a terrible thief.
• "Gym, gym, bangs trimmed, gym."
• Did anyone else hear the grumble/road that came from Dan as he pondered if Blair loved him? WHAT WAS THAT?
• Even Dorota gets to get into the scheme! Yay!
• Diana was in Portugal....it's not Thailand...but I bet they do sex changes there. (Seriously crossing my fingers at this point.)
• I love how Blair keeps putting down Nate. She used to love him. 
• I LOVE Serena's scarf.
• I don't understand - and probably never will - understand how there are so many parties in these people's lives that include people in lingerie.
• Who on earth would assume that India is the madam and then say yes that they are their girls. Whores, that's who. Ok and whore-lites.
• All of a sudden this episode became a mash up of Sliver and Eyes Wide Shut.
• Blair opens a door and says: No, no, it can't be! If it's Bart then well, Diana isn't actually Bart. This makes me sad.
• Jack looks good. He's dealing with his HEPATITIS! pretty well.
• Chuck asks Jack: Are you my father? I think of this:

• Serena is the worst. I could not be happier that Lola and Nate threw her crap in her face. "Neither is tricking me!" Lamest come back ever.
• Dan decides to go to Rome. to stay in NY instead of going to Rome. Idiot. But I do love Dair.
• Dan tells Blair he loves her. She does not say it back. Awwww. Lonely boy.
• AND BART IS ALIVE! My genius friends are geniuses. I got a text that said: "Boo-yah. Jack McKay style! Aaron Spelling taught me well!" Yes he did. Too bad Diana wasn't Bart. I would've like that so much better.

• And...we still don't know why there is a brothel and who Chuck's parent's really are.
• Finally -This week's Hart of Dixie DID NOT start with, "Harvey Wilkes is your father." It only took 20 weeks for them to think we'd remember.

So what do you think? Is Dair gonna end? Is Serena gonna get her groove back? Can you wait (I can't) til Rufus realizes his marriage is invalid and has to win Lily back with a bouquet of waffles?

AND I got another text later from my fellow GG addict Lil: "If Bart faked his death so Chuck could make something of himself I am goimg to throw a shoe at the tv." I think we'll get a picture of that shoe embedded in the TV soon...cause you know that's the excuse he'll have.

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Gossip Girl: Despicable B

I'm off to a late start cause of a fun happy hour with a friend, so here goes:

Gossip Girl starts out this week reminding people that magazines exist. Dan and Blair are adorable coming down from what was probably a lovely night of debates over Russian poets and lovely, non boring and non perverted, sexy times.

• Blair's robe = gorgeous. I still can't figure out why they haven't embraced Leighton Meester's bangs.
• We didn't get to watch the trial of the the century that invalidated CeCe's will. "How does it feel going from high class to high trash?" Does that guy work for tmz? Extra?
• Diana walks very manly at the opening of the episode which makes me cross my fingers that my (dream) suspicion that Diana IS Bart Bass might come true. Plus why is Nate agreeing to talk to him her? Don't sleep with your best friend's parent. That should just be a general life rule.
• Blake Lively looks really old for her age, right? 
• Blair's second, lounging around the house, outfit is also pretty. I can't tell what season it is though: Blair is wearing bright spring colors with a cut out back and Serena is wearing boots, tights, a scarf and a coat?
• I DO NOT like turmoil between Lily and Rufus....but I guess if Bart ends up being alive, their marriage is invalid and they'll have to get married/engaged in the season finale.
• I think Gossip Girl is pretty good at casting parents and children. I believe Lola could be William's daughter.
• I like that the writers acknowledge that BOTH Rufus and Lily are wrong in their argument. Cause like I said last week, Rufus is an idiot for putting up Ivy but then Lily cutting Rufus off? That was a low blow. How can he buy eggs and stuff for waffles?
• I like the face Nate makes when he figures stuff out. The eyebrows get extra acting action.
• Ha! Blair gets called out for being married less time than Kim Kardashian. Even Kris Humphries (who I actually like) is more interesting than Prince Louis.

More after the JUMP!

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Gossip Girl: Salon of the Dead

Dair hosts a salon!

(But Dan needs to visit one)

Chuck's mom is revealed

Gossip Girl in in it's final act of the season and we're at a cross-Rhodes! Ha! See what I did there? Lame, yeah I know. But really Lily and Rufus are living separately and it's affecting them each differently: Lily is lonely, rubbing her temples while eating pancake (no waffles. sigh.) with a glass of OJ and wine, and Rufus is stuck in Brooklyn staring off into the distance while strumming his guitar and hopefully writing the new it song of summer 2012. Watch out Goyte.

Quickly we're reminded that Serena is a sad and pathetic person by deleting all the requests on Gossip Girl for more info on Lola. She sighs. We know that's serious sadness.

What else happens in the episode? Here are some of the highlights:

• Lola's getting used to the fame. Her confidence has grown so much that she wears a terrible brown and white plaid jacket in public.
• Blair is prepping for her and Dan's "coming out" party. She tells him in lieu of showering he can just thrown on deodorant like Brooklynites. She must love him.
• Serena is not good at being Gossip Girl and she's not good at being an evil villainess. Could her comments be any more obvious? Even Lola  - the person whose identity was stolen and plastered all over NY tabloids and never noticed - figures it out. But, as usual, Nate doesn't.
• Rufus lost himself when he married Lily and became a "+1." He is not talking about Google +1s or Vulture recap +points. He's actually sad.
• Nate is sad because he misses all his friends. The eyebrows point slightly downward.
• Lars von Trier values the words of Gossip Girl.
• Lily's peace treaty food: Salad. Even I know waffles are the way to Rufus's heart. But he decides he'll eat her roughage. They decide to sell the apartment. Salad = magic.
• "Just because a tree grows in Brooklyn, doesn't mean I have to plant it." I love Blair. 
• Dair meets the Brangelina of the five boroughs who look JUST LIKE THEM. I think they are real people - but I don't care enough to google their names. 
• Dan gets WAY too giddy about hosting a salon. I did care enough to google "salon." It's a gathering.
• There was a lot of eavesdropping in this episode.
• The desk guy at the SoHo Grand should be fired. How dumb are you to announce to someone's wife that their husband is paying for a woman to stay at the hotel? FIRED.
• You know that the crowd is mostly intellectuals because many are wearing glasses.
• In the fight between Rufus and Lily- I take Lily's side. Why the hell are you helping Ivy, Rufus? Dumb ass.
• Diana's cleavage is insane. 
• Poor Chuck. I actually feel really bad for him. Very dramatic and un-British - EVEN THOUGH DIANA IS BRITISH!
• I geeky squeeed at Dan wanting a sleepover. Adorable. Even more adorable? Their bedtime banter.
• The things people on this show feel guilty about are ridiculous. Why does Lola feel guilty for "ruining Chuck's life," and then basically defend Serena's treatment of her? 
• Rufus goes to what appears to be a Couples Only diner. Then he find out he got cut off.
• We finally get the obvious reveal that Diana is Chuck's mother. She wanted to see Chuck "desperately," so, as Chuck thankfully pointed out, she did it from Nate's bed. It's tough finding out who your real mom is, and tougher to find out she's a whore, but finding out she banged your best friend - that's gotta be the worst.
• Then - there's a FINAL TWIST: That wasn't the secret Diana was trying to protect. There's something more - this might actually surprise me. But I have two genius friends who have said all along that they think Bart Bass is alive. This could be the twist!

So, what did you think of this week's Gossip Girl? I think this is the first time I'm sad that Serena doesn't have a temporary love interest because I think this storyline is even more terrible than any of her awful boyfriends.

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Gossip Girl: It Girl, Interrupted

There will be Bass Blood - 

Chuck wears a sweatsuit onesie.

Farewell Prince Louis.

Welcome, welcome to this year's Hunger Games! What? It's not the Hunger Games? It's the Upper East Side you say? But why are people killing one another's It Girl status? In NYC that's the same as actual murder. And Serena is a Career Tribute. And Career Tributes can be a bitch. Here's a few of my thoughts: 

• Chuck in the red sweatsuit! Best. Dressed. Of. The. Season. The. End.
• Did anyone else notice Dan randomly yet adorably winking when Diana walked in the room when he was talking to Nate? I did. I also rewound it 5 times. 
• Chuck paid the dowry. Very sweet. Very dangerous for Dair.
• Blair's watercolor dress is gorgeous. Her tights not so much.
• Serena is an idiot. If she really wanted the real Charlie Rhodes to get noticed she should've put her in an outfit that showed more skin that Serena's own summer wear.
• I actually like Serena as Gossip Girl. Makes her more interesting.
• Dan - don't call your current love and tell her about the amazing thing her ex-love did. Bad news. But, your hair looks a little better.
• The GG voice over, "word is tonight...you're gonna see a lot more of her" re: Lola. In other words she's gonna dress like a ho.
• Serena: "You will surpass me as New York's IT girl in no time." Lola: "Oh no, Serena - no one can surpass you...especially not me." Uhhh, Blair did. A long time ago. Wasn't that a storyline? No? Maybe you're just not the viewer's IT girl anymore. I laughed when it turned out that Lola was "acting" that whole time.
• Nate was doing so good then had to remind me how dumb he was.
• I am soooo proud of Blair for calling Chuck out on his shit. Even if he was being genuine, I like that she assumed the worst of him. HE SOLD HER. Never forget.
• Ha! Stupid Serena got played. Then Nate got caught on a really bad technicality. But I forgive him cause he's pretty.
• We can't have Serena being the face of the Lola. Oh Gossip Girl Writers - you all are awesome.
• Serena is a bitch: "these things come and go...i wouldn't get used to it." Girl, you created your own worst enemy. 
• Elizabeth Hurley is really pretty. 
• Wait - is Lily in JEANS?! And NO Rufus? Who is gonna make her waffles?
• Dair. Awww, Dan is sweet. 
• Serena = pathetic. 

In addition, I like that they've just gotten rid of the Prince. Who is gonna lisp "Blaaaihhr" anymore? So, what did you think? Is Serena headed for a sad existence? Is she already there? Is Chuck gonna come between Dan and Blair soon or will they have a little bit of happy time? And finally, where is Lily gonna get her waffles?

...and my favorite scene from There Will be Blood (minus "i've abandoned my child!" but plus a laugh):

Oscar-ed. Remember when Serena was on the phone with Daniel Day Lewis's people at the beginning of the season? Oh how the It Girl has fallen.

XOXO,

TRE

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Gossip Girl: Con-Heir

I fast forwarded

all but Dair, and the Jack Bass:

Hepatitis TWIST!

Man I missed Gossip Girl. I deleted the episode from my DVR so no pictures. I'm very behind on life (still) so this will be short and focus on the few things that stuck in my head:

• I missed Nate's eyebrows. I think his powerbrows are what have helped him created a "reputable" news source.
• Dan and Nate have a "be more like Don Draper" pact. LOVE THIS. Now all I want to do is play the game of "Who on GG would be each character on Mad Men?" Suggestions welcome in the comment section (like people actually leave comments). First suggestion: Don = Fake Ivy? Stolen identities! Too bad she sucks so much. Ugh. Ignore that.
• Dan is not following the pact that well - if he were, his hair would be better.
• Blair showing up in sexy lingerie to Dan's place at the beginning of the episode was one of the funniest things I've seen on GG. Unfortunately, her bad hair ruined it. Later in the episode, her hair made a comeback - two low buns somehow managed to look amazing. 
• Rufus made WAFFLES again!
• There's some storyline about Ivy-William-Charlie-Will (as in CeeCee's last will and testament) that I don't care about.
• Cocktail parties cost upwards of $36,000?! My personal cocktail parties usually cost the same as 2 bottles of cheap grocery store wine.
• Lily's coat at the party was HUGE. But I liked it.
• Serena is still an idiot.
• Jack Bass came to town. How great is he? Chuck wanted to repay him for saving his life (at least that's what Chuck thought) when Lily called him about Chuck being in the hospital needing blood. Now here's where quite possibly my FAVORITE Gossip Girl plot device starts. Chuck starts to suspect Jack is not being truthful so he goes to the hospital and speaks with a nurse (?). She falls for the whole "hey look - brad pitt!" line, dashes off to grope him, and Chuck gets to view Jack's medical records. This is when Chuck finds out that Jack. Has. Hepatitis. C. 

• As we've all suspected, Diana has got to be Chuck's real mom [this has yet to be officially confirmed]. The accents and pouting lips gave it away. Not as exciting of a twist as HEPATITIS.
• The Dair story was super cute and cheesy. They'd been trying to consummate their relationship for awhile but kept getting steered off course. They FINALLY get to do it (which involved Blair's portable champagne glasses?) and it's terrible. They both lie, leave then get wasted. They then drunkenly and very hotly get it on in an elevator. As my friend texted, "aren't there cameras in elevators?" Yes. But I'll let this one pass. Besides, I'm still dealing with the fact that Jack has HEPATITIS.
• Dair have great chemistry. I guess I might still care about "Chair" but Chuck has just become such a sad character. Ed Westwick has said in interviews that he's disappointed with the way his character has  changes and I suggest killing him off. The last and final season can be everyone dealing with his death and wearing too short skirts and sequins.
• Dan wore lots of plaid this week. I guess he always does (Brooklyn, yo!) but it was more noticeable next to Blair's lovely clothing.

So, what did you think of this week's episode? Are you now a Dair shipper? Has any other show made hepatitis c a major plot point before? 

[Side note - Hepatitis C is not funny, nor did I think the storyline was funny. It was just so absurd for GG.]

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Gossip Girl: The Princess Dowry

I don’t understand

Why CeeCee’s memorial

Wasn’t disco themed

As usual on Gossip Girl, the drama revolves around one of their weekly galas, balls, hotel parties or dinners, but this week, it centered around an equally lively wake. That’s right. A wake. There are twists and turns and lots of lace at the wake of the loved and hated CeeCee.  Here are some of my thoughts:

• Nate looks much better in a suit than in just a plain white t-shirt. Which is strange cause I usually love a man in a white tee.

• Chuck comes in and explains where the coffee is to Nate: “It’s in the top draaaaaawl” He means drawer but says it in a drawl that makes it sound like drawl. Make sense?
• Dan, starting his official wooing of Blair, invites her to have waffles. Leighton Meester has so much chemistry with EVERYONE that her rain check on the waffle makes me mini-swoon. I’d actually like to see her date a waffle on the show – she’d make it work. They'd be called Blaffle.
• Email in Georgina’s inbox from one Erika Goldlarb: “I think Kim Ass [?] and David Yoon walked into Kenmare with a tank of kerosene. WTF? I’m keeping [sic] look out. I’ll keep you posted. “ Erika – a tank of kerosene? At that point you call the cops. Other note about Georgina’s inbox – she had an email from someone named Henry Yoon. Lots of Yoons on the upper east side.
• Georgina is sad that she’s a stay at home mom. Awwww. Poor Georgina. I will say if she uses some of her day to put on her perfectly applied liner, she should be more proud of her time usage. Eyeliner was flawless.

• I didn’t realize that the new it outfit for wakes were lace and intricate tights. For me [Dan] the in look is to let an almost inappropriate amount of chest hair show.  Also note that for once, Serena realized this was not the time nor place for her boobs. Here's a good look at just some of the judgement faces thrown at the wake:

• Festive flute playing. Noted. Later, a Cranberries’ song was playing. Also noted.
• Lola seems to be as dumb as Ivy portrayed her to be. Turns out you are a good actress, Ivy.
• Buzzed Lily is great. She eye rolls Ivy and during the reading of the will is sitting there as if it takes effort to stay upright.
• Rufus is way too invested in the will reading. Is it actually surprising to anyone that CeeCee left a bunch of stuff to fake Ivy?
• Jealous Chuck is more interesting than happy Chuck. I wonder if he’s still going to be sleeping with Alessandra or if they can finally get rid of that character (prob not since she’s sort of important to Dan’s storyline). I like that when he confronts Dan he throws out the comment about Dan never really being his friend. That was sad. Then I remembered when Chuck dated Reyna they talked about their loneliness growing up, then she ditched him for Nate. Sigh. Get Chuck a hot girlfriend stat.
• Poor Blair gets all sorts of dumped on in this episode.
• There’s a actual party wake going on outside, and yet they don’t close the door when they are about to hear the reading of the will. Cause eavesdropping never happens on the UES.
• I loved that Georgina walked around this wake the entire time and not one person tries to kick her out.

• Things in CeeCee’s will: horses,  Faberge Eggs, Early British watercolors.
• Ivy argues that she “tried to tell you she was sick!” – that’s false. She lied about the illness at the Studio 54 party.
• When Serena was lying around so sullen on her bed, I thought, “shouldn’t she be blogging about this?” For real, what happened to her blog?
• Biggest reveal of the night is that William is Lola’s dad which makes her Serena’s cousin and half-sister. Second biggest shocking moment of the night is that he wears a pinkie ring. Sigh.

The episode ended with Rufus and Lily being kicked out of their – nope, Ivy’s – apartment, Chuck essentially getting dumped by Blair, and Blair running off to Dan for some making out while Georgia jetted off to Morocco to try and get Blair the annulment.  

Gossip Girl will not be new again until April 2, and I look forward to the episode where Dan and Blair have a bad bedroom experience.  As my friend Lil explained to me, it's gotta be because she's been stuck doing pervert Chuck and necrophiliac Louis. 

What did you think of the episode? PS: I copied and pasted this from another document and that's why there's a weird white background. I can fix it but I'm too lazy :) xoxo

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Gossip Girl: Cross Rhodes

I'll try to write a recap later this week. I was at a basketball game so everything is behind. I will say that Serena's hair looked 100% better this week, Alessandra is the worst, and Dan's line, "Yeah this is my fault" made me snort. The not-director of the UCB play reminded me of Daniel Faraday - SPOILER - his mom kills him.

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Gossip Girl: Crazy, Cupid, Love

Nate throws a party

where the theme is "high school" [?] cause 

It's Valentine's Day!

I'm very behind on Gossip Girl recaps. There are a couple of things I LOVED in the last two episodes, "G.G." and  "The Backup Dan:"

• Blair actually went through with the wedding - cause I didn't think that would happen.
• Her two dads walked her down the aisle! That was a really touching moment
• The prince finally had enough and is now eeeeevil (imagine him saying that with his accent, I guess it would sound like eee-fil)
• The music at the wedding reception was very non-royalty and non-Blair, but for some reason I thought it was funny
• Blair turns to Dan for help (squeee!) 
• Blair's hair looks miraculously better at the airport. Thanks Jet-Blue!
• Dan lies to Serena and has seemingly ignored her love declaration. I think this is amazing.
• Dan finally sort of stands up for himself and storms out - but only as far as the hotel bar
• Blair tells Dan to get a haircut
• I got a text from a friend after "The Backup Dan" that said: Ok, I'd be happy with Dair. This was followed by me telling her I needed to find my Dan and she said he was probably at home watching the boy version of Gossip Girl. I decided that was either Gossip Girl or Swamp People
• Dan lurking in the corner at the end of the second episode. I like sneaky Dan. Too bad his Sideshow Bob hairstyle makes it hard for him to be incognito.

There were also things I hated:

• Serena's hair still looks terrible. The wedding style had potential in the front but had a stringy ponytail in the back

Wedding party in the front...

• Speaking of hair, Blair would NEVER wear that hairstyle at her wedding. Never. I don't even think the Prince's mom would let her wear her hair like that
• Georgina is fake Gossip Girl?
• Serena has the nerve to be mad at Dan for lying when she just lied to him 5 minutes earlier about being at the wedding and then lied about being the one who sent the GG blast AND had lied a day earlier by saying they had to keep fake dating for Blair's sake
• I just hate Serena
• Nate hitting on the waiter girl is really predictable, but he is still pretty. She however, isn't as pretty as fake Charlie, but has a less grating voice
• The excuse that Blair gave Chuck for not paying the dowry (oh yes, there is a dowry) for her. Lame.
• Blair going off with Louis at the end made me sad
• This, though, was the worst:

The recap of Crazy, Cupid, Love is after the JUMP!
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Gossip Girl Suggestion

No haiku today cause I'm in a hurry, but can they just kill off Louis? I'd be real excited for a "Who killed Prince Louis?" cliffhanger. The suspects are endless and Serena would (like the idiot she is) take the blame when she thinks it's someone that she loves who did it. I'd love to see her in an orange jumpsuit and her hair would probably look better in jail than it has been looking recently. Really, everyone should want to kill Louis because he's super annoying and his accent is terrible. They could lead us to think it was one of the UES gang when eventually his crazy sister and the fake priest could get pinned for the murder then there could be a long shot of Cyrus burning his bloody clothes cause you know, he'd be the last person they'd suspect.

Pretty please can this happen?

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Gossip Girl: The End of the Affair?

Blair has a secret

Louis still has a French lisp

All on NYE

 (And the most boring NYE...seriously they throw parties every week - most have been more exciting than this one)

Sooooo, it's ridiculous that now GOD [this is nothing against GOD] is the reason Blair and Chuck can't be together. Right? Totally over the top?

I need to quit this show. But I don't know how to quit it.

Other thoughts:

• Why didn't Nate read the police report? The driver said he told the cops. It would've been in there. All the effort to make Nate seem like a hard hitting journalist, and he's still just dumb, but very pretty, Nate.
• I'm glad Monkey's back.
• I was sad when Blair was sad that she lost the baby. I was however thinking that the big secret she was covering up was that she didn't in fact lose the baby in the accident, but had a secret abortion a few days later. I know abortion is a tricky plot device, but I think that would've been better than, "I promised GOD I wouldn't be with Chuck if he helped him live."
• I HATE the "Serena is the new Gossip Girl" storyline. Stupid Bloggers. :)
• Speaking of Serena - how does she come up with these lies? Sometimes they try and make Serena smart, then the next episode she's an idiot. "Oh Blair is going to a secret apartment with Dan because he and I are now dating - again"? How does that make sense? I would have rather any of the following lies have been told (they also would've been more believable).
• Dan and Blair are trying out for The Amazing Race
• Dan's newest book is a Blair biography
• Blair lost a bet to Dan and is now forced to be a strange family's maid
• They are hiding Jenny and Eric in that apartment
• Dan is a pre-op sex reassignment and is using Blair as a model for his future Danielle.
• My only hope with this Serena lie is that the show will end with her being crushed when she realizes Dan will NEVER love her again.
• I'm glad they showed Rufus talking to Jenny on the phone even if they referenced Alexa Chung. I do think that Jenny and Alexa Chung would be friends.
• So they see the real Charlie and that doesn't strike them as odd. They don't talk to her a little more? They just leave? 
• Louis's hair is awful. The back of his hair is soooo crooked. No way a prince wouldn't have someone to cut it everyday for him. Also, where does he live? 
• I have been so busy and distracted I didn't have time to take pictures other than these:

            AND

That flashback was very Grey's Anatomy.

No comments on the clothes other than Serena's NYE dress was shooooort! Dan's hair looked better but Blair's did not.

What did you think of the episode? Did you roll your eyes when Blair explained her reasons for avoiding Chuck? Are you still holding out for Dair endgame? Who was best and worst dressed this week?

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Gossip Girl: Riding in Town Cars with Boys

An engagement ends?

Lonely boy is still lonely

A scary car crash!

I never got around to posting on last week's disco extravaganza but I will include some quick thoughts (really texts) that I shared with my friends and that they shared with me:

I cannot wait for you to see Rufus's necklace.
Serena's first dress = unflattering as hell.
They made a Farrah Fawcett's dead joke?!?!
Why is Blair dressed as Zooey Deschanel?
Where did Max bake the cake?
OMG The Dancing!!!
Oh Serena's hair.

Chaka Khan't.

Poor Dan. He gets a story line worse than a studio 54 party for a grandma.
And Nate as a hard hitting journalist? Just no.


That was that. This week the saga continued. Lily decided to host a coming out party [I know that's not what it's called] for Charlie and planned it over a breakfast that poor Dan had to sit through.

"Kill me now."

Serena said, "Waffles, a new job and a party!" I too would be excited about that. Especially the waffles.

Dan is sad, even though his book has taken off again, and ponders the, "appeal of heroin or womanizing." If he continues to look like he is on heroin (as he has this season), he won't be able to womanize anything. I am also holding out for a Dan/Nate love story. Just cause.

Down the road, Chuck and Nate are enjoying a light breakfast while chatting about their newfound fancy and legit lives. Nate discusses something I find boring but Chuck really likes. He likes it so much he tells Nate: "It's a bold move, Nathaniel - I'm almost aroused." There are pills to help you be fully aroused, Chuck, but I'm sure you know that.

Half boner.

I'm ceramic.

They notice that the latest printed news on Blair is that she hasn't been seen with Prince Louis for weeks! Chuck blows this off since it must be, "lies made up to sell newspapers to women who collect ceramic cats." Lucky Cat throws the side eye:

Some stuff happened in the middle of the episode with Nate, the Congressman, and Nate's dad. I don't know if it's that I can't follow along or that I just don't care about this storyline. Max shows up and says: "Charlie is Ivy!" Nate responds, "I don't believe you!" and Max gives up and walks away. He is awful at exposing lies. Later he approaches the Congressman to make some sort of deal that once again I don't care about. Why do they keep casting non-extremely attractive men as guest stars? Cause I guess he's ok looking. He's just not CW standard.

Since Blair is being watched like a hawk by the paparazzi, she's decided to become a shut-in. Luckily for us, Dorota is around to put her in her place and say things like, "Need to marry Louis to be a princess." Touche.

One pap finds a way to get into her house so she decides she needs to escape the UES. It just so happens that with Rufus's nudging, Dan has decided to tell Blair how he feels. He calls and she invites herself over. Awww. Could it be? Could Dair FINALLY be happening?

Find out if it is after the JUMP!
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Gossip Girl: The Big Sleep No More

Diana played games

Chuck hosted a benefit

Dan is MIA

This week's episode of Gossip Girl had so many twists and turns: Chuck tried to be good, Blair came on to  Chuck with the worst pick up lines and they ended up kissing, Serena meets someone from Ivy/Charlie's past, Diana and Nate play the games that lovers play (ha!), Dan goes AWOL and the group attends a benefit/Eyes Wide Shut play where everyone wears masks and some of the actors bathe in blood (really). With all those great ideas, this episode fell ridiculously flat.

Instead of an actual recap I present to you this, my conversation with my lovely friend who also watches Gossip Girl [please excuse our lack of punctuation, capitalization and any spelling errors!]:

me:  did you watch gossip girl

 Y:  yes. i groaned throughout all of it.

WHY do we still watch this show?

now i just sit and shout at the characters about how stupid they are

 me:  i had given it up but came back to it

 Y:  and tell dan to comb his hair already

 me: poor sad dan

 Y:  this season is the worst

 me:  that party was awful

 Y:  omg - yes

 me:  Blair was acting like an idiot? Is that what it's like when you are pregnant? 

Every time Diana says "blog" it sounds like she's coughing up phlegm

 Y:  diana's character is the most ridiculous thing ever

me:  she's a loser, "let me fuck with these kids and make it not at all interesting"

 Y:  i can' t believe she went to the apt of a guy who has a roommate - she's like 50

 me:  and chuck

what was up with that

"i'm good"

HA

 Y:  are we suddenly supposed to think he's good?

 me:  right?!

 Y:  that was so bizarre this show has never been good at letting something develop

 me:  it was so instant

i did like blair'a hat and animal print dress - the hat was an upgrade from last week's dead parakeet

 Y:  i only liked her fantasy dress

and you couldn't even see all of it

and every time she said louis i wanted to vomit

 me:  oooh i liked that they acknowledged her real life bangs in that scene

Y: everyone's clothes sucked

 me:  now that i noticed charlie's voice - i can't stop thinking about how awful it is

and she cant seem to find a dress that holds her boobs in - and she has NO boobs

two positives: serena's hair looked much better and no louis

thats all i can come up with...

ooooooh

serena's mask party dress was AWFUL i think it had fringe AND beads AND sequins

Y:  OMG i remember saying "WTF are you wearing woman!" at her

why is she wearing these terrible skirts???

i feel like this is one of those "stop trying to make fetch happen!!" moments

me:  HAHAHAHAHAHA

stop trying to make ugly too short skirts happen!

 Y:  for realz. i fully support the "uncombed hair" as a movement in my personal life

but not on tv - i need my tv characters groomed

The End!

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