Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Gossip Girl: Crazy, Cupid, Love

Nate throws a party
where the theme is "high school" [?] cause 
It's Valentine's Day!

I'm very behind on Gossip Girl recaps. There are a couple of things I LOVED in the last two episodes, "G.G." and  "The Backup Dan:"
  • Blair actually went through with the wedding - cause I didn't think that would happen.
  • Her two dads walked her down the aisle! That was a really touching moment
  • The prince finally had enough and is now eeeeevil (imagine him saying that with his accent, I guess it would sound like eee-fil)
  • The music at the wedding reception was very non-royalty and non-Blair, but for some reason I thought it was funny
  • Blair turns to Dan for help (squeee!) 
  • Blair's hair looks miraculously better at the airport. Thanks Jet-Blue!
  • Dan lies to Serena and has seemingly ignored her love declaration. I think this is amazing.
  • Dan finally sort of stands up for himself and storms out - but only as far as the hotel bar
  • Blair tells Dan to get a haircut
  • I got a text from a friend after "The Backup Dan" that said: Ok, I'd be happy with Dair. This was followed by me telling her I needed to find my Dan and she said he was probably at home watching the boy version of Gossip Girl. I decided that was either Gossip Girl or Swamp People
  • Dan lurking in the corner at the end of the second episode. I like sneaky Dan. Too bad his Sideshow Bob hairstyle makes it hard for him to be incognito.
There were also things I hated:
  • Serena's hair still looks terrible. The wedding style had potential in the front but had a stringy ponytail in the back

Wedding party in the front...
  • Speaking of hair, Blair would NEVER wear that hairstyle at her wedding. Never. I don't even think the Prince's mom would let her wear her hair like that
  • Georgina is fake Gossip Girl?
  • Serena has the nerve to be mad at Dan for lying when she just lied to him 5 minutes earlier about being at the wedding and then lied about being the one who sent the GG blast AND had lied a day earlier by saying they had to keep fake dating for Blair's sake
  • I just hate Serena
  • Nate hitting on the waiter girl is really predictable, but he is still pretty. She however, isn't as pretty as fake Charlie, but has a less grating voice
  • The excuse that Blair gave Chuck for not paying the dowry (oh yes, there is a dowry) for her. Lame.
  • Blair going off with Louis at the end made me sad
  • This, though, was the worst:

The recap of Crazy, Cupid, Love is after the JUMP!

Creeper with the Corgi.
Tonight it's Valentine's day in the UES. I love holiday themed tv episodes - Valentine's day included! Blair is back at her house (seriously, where does Louis live and why isn't Blair with him) along with Estee, her new social secretary/spy for Louis/"creeper" and a shady bellhop who stares even creepier than Estee. Chuck and Serena chat on the phone about their sad lives; all they have are Monkey and a never ending closet of too short dresses. Chuck runs into another creeper (this one with a Corgi) as he walks Monkey. TWIST! Georgina has hired all these background people/creepers (not Estee -she's just a regular creeper)  to be her gossip gathering minions. They suck and only gather tiny tidbits of information, which disappoints Georgina. But as, Phillip (who?) points out, she has the biggest dirt on all of them (not really) - that Dan is really the one that sent the incriminating Blair video.
"I'm Phillip!" "And I'm a baby!"
Blair runs into Serena in their shared living space. Who does Serena think she is by complaining about her terrible Valentine's days of yore - Liz Lemon? Ugh. Dan walks in and Serena quickly runs out. Turns out both of them have had terrible V-days since the high school one they spent together. Blair decides she must  get them back together. I hate friends that are unsatisfied with their own love lives (usually married lives) that they try and meddle in their single friends' lives, but it happens. This is actually a pretty realistic story line. Good job, GG writers.

Dan goes off to meet his agent and coincidentally Serena shows up at the same restaurant, alone. I have no idea why I love Dan, but I do. He goes over and is pretty hostile, but does apologize. Surprise! The restaurant is giving away free Dom (not Deluise) for Valentine's day.
What a fancy restaurant! But it's not the restaurant that is being generous - it's actually Blair and Dorota scheming in very good disguises:

We're incognito.
The champagne starts working to the point that D&S are being nice to each other, but aren't drunk enough to be oblivious to the fakeness of everything. They Dan quickly realizes Blair must be behind this. Oh Blair! As silly as you are being I do have to point out how flawless your make up is this week:

So pretty.

When confronted by Serena, Blair admits to her meddling and decides to take Serena to the Cardiac Ball [side note: back in the old days, General Hospital used to have a ball every year - it was called the Nurses Ball but now I wish it had been called the Cardiac Ball. General Hospital also used to be about hospital and not the mafia.]. Serena declines and makes a sad comment about how true love is only a myth. This is something that never bothered her before when spreading her legs for the male population of NY. Too mean? Nah. Dan decides to go to a party where girls will be dressed like school girls, because that isn't at all creepy.

Gossip Girl texts Dan to take Blair to Chuck's. Blackmail, GG style:


Dan's hair is awful. Blair decides to go to the high school (what kind of theme is that I'm moving Nate to the creeper list) dance before the Cardiac Ball. I am very confused about which party is which and where they are both at, but who cares? At one party, Blair talks to Dan in the corner, and starts to undress him (but for Serena) while telling him all the reasons that Serena would be in love with him. It's sweet.

Think of baseball.

This moment is super sweet and exciting for Dair fans, so of course GG ruins it by sending a text that says "Do it! Kiss her right now!"
"I mean it!" For a writer, Dan's texts suck.
 Buzz kill. Even Sebastian knew to set the mood and he was a crab.

The moment is shot so Dan goes off to respond to the text but hears the beep of a received message nearby. Georgina is BUST-ED! He confronts her and throws the blackmail back on her: if she tells anyone he sent the video, he'd tell everyone she's working for Gossip Girl. Blair comes in, and Georgina leaves. Blair demands(!): Tell me what would make you happy, Dan. THEN THEY KISS! And not a kiss like last time that's like "let's kiss to see if we like each other" but an actual kiss! She's shocked at first, but then totally gives in. Gossip Girl has just made up for the terrible first half of the season. The door opens and in peeks Georgina and Serena. Serena makes a sad/shocked face and Georgina takes a picture. I like that she got a picture -cause that's in character - but I'm sad there's no Dan/Blair let's talk about the kiss. Ugh. I am a fan-girl. Happy Valentine's day to me. 



Um - ok. 


Oh crap.
Since Georgina got her hand on Blair's pre-nup via what I assume is TMZ and found out about the dowry and how if Blair falls out of compliance with pre-nup, the Waldorfs will be broke. She immediately tells Dan about this when he cornered her to get the picture back. He makes a sad face. This is like O'Henry or The Little Mermaid or something. Modern day classics being written right now.

Dan runs out after Blair, who is leaving, and confronts her about the peanut pre-nup. She confesses that her feelings for Louis are all business. "How about your feelings for me?" he asks through his tufts of hair. It doesn't matter because she'd never hurt Serena. HA HA HA. I call bullshit on that one. Or as Leighton's character in Country Strong would say: BULLTRUE!

Dan is sad, Chuck is sad (Georgina showed him the picture of Dan and Blair kissing), Phillip can't get laid by his own wife so he's sad, Estee is sad cause she loves Louis from afar (I head she likes his accent) and Serena is gonna go clubbing:

Studio 54 pajamas?

Looks like everyone in kind of a Lonely Boy tonight. XOXOh wait...other things that happened that I didn't care as much about:

  • Nate is busy stalking Lola/Real Charlie (RC) and asking her for a first date on Valentine's day. Again, I am reminded of Liz Lemon asking Dr. Drew (Jon Hamm) out for a first date on Valentine's day. Oh CRAP! I get it. Nate's in the bubble too. He's just so pretty that no one has ever told him he's wrong. He even changed his party location since Lola can't (for an unexplained but easy plot hole fixer) work parties at the Spectator. Turns out he's a creeper too. Is this how the rich try and get dates?

Every breath you taaaaaake
  • Ivy/Fake Charlie is back and Georgina quickly dives in and tries to blackmail her. She ends up at the party and runs into RC who tells her "Hey remember me from our acting class?! Small world!" Nate tells Lola that's Charlie Rhodes, but Lola knows the truth....so she friends her on facebook? What? That makes NO sense. Would fake Charlie Rhodes befriend Lola since she knows she's the real Charlie Rhodes? NO. Does that sentence make sense? Also, NO. Oh and Grandma Rhodes loves fake Charlie and is possibly dying.

Nate: "You two could be sisters."
Everyone watching: "Nate needs glasses."

Best moment: Rufus is picking out Cartier jewelry for Lily. Ha.
Biggest eye roll: Serena telling Blair: you took something that mattered to me! When in season 1, Serena did dirty things with Nate with their private parts. Did she get amnesia at some point? Did I miss that season?
Best and worst dressed: you choose:

CW side note: Hart of Dixie is about 13 weeks in at least. How many times do they need to start the "Previously on Hart of Dixie" with "Harvey Wilkes was your father"? We know by now.

"Harvey - you ARE the father!"

I really enjoyed "Crazy, Cupid, Love" for the twist efforts and the Dair kiss. For an episode that caused me such happiness, all the characters are in a pretty crappy place right now. Next week it looks like there will be a lot more Dair smooches. That makes me happy. Blair is also shown wearing blue eyeshadow. That does not make me happy.

Soooo, if you weren't on the Dair bandwagon, are you on it now? Her influence can only cause an improvement in his hair. What's gonna happen with Charlie/Ivy? Will it be as much of a letdown as that entire storyline has been? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


  1. I love the photo sequence of the Dair kiss. haha.
    I'm interested to see how the Ivy/Chola part progresses. I hope it's a "give me back my trust fund, you bitch" kind of take-down.
    Also (without having seen previews), I hope Chuck gets to be bad and tries to take down Dan. That book lady is super annoying, although I understand since Chuck is just using her to get to Dan.
    Rufus + Cartier = HILARIOUS!

  2. Thank you for the link to BULLTRUE. I appreciate any chance to get to re-experience Country Strong. It's a well-known fact that that movie is the greatest movie of our time.

  3. I can't say "I'm country strong" without raising my arm above my head. And I say "I'm country strong" a lot.

  4. "My name is Harvey Wilkes and I'm from Bluebell Alabama!"

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