Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Gossip Girl: Riding in Town Cars with Boys

An engagement ends?
Lonely boy is still lonely
A scary car crash!

I never got around to posting on last week's disco extravaganza but I will include some quick thoughts (really texts) that I shared with my friends and that they shared with me:

I cannot wait for you to see Rufus's necklace.
Serena's first dress = unflattering as hell.
They made a Farrah Fawcett's dead joke?!?!
Why is Blair dressed as Zooey Deschanel?
Where did Max bake the cake?
OMG The Dancing!!!
Oh Serena's hair.

Chaka Khan't.

Poor Dan. He gets a story line worse than a studio 54 party for a grandma.
And Nate as a hard hitting journalist? Just no.

That was that. This week the saga continued. Lily decided to host a coming out party [I know that's not what it's called] for Charlie and planned it over a breakfast that poor Dan had to sit through.

"Kill me now."
Serena said, "Waffles, a new job and a party!" I too would be excited about that. Especially the waffles.

Dan is sad, even though his book has taken off again, and ponders the, "appeal of heroin or womanizing." If he continues to look like he is on heroin (as he has this season), he won't be able to womanize anything. I am also holding out for a Dan/Nate love story. Just cause.

Down the road, Chuck and Nate are enjoying a light breakfast while chatting about their newfound fancy and legit lives. Nate discusses something I find boring but Chuck really likes. He likes it so much he tells Nate: "It's a bold move, Nathaniel - I'm almost aroused." There are pills to help you be fully aroused, Chuck, but I'm sure you know that.

Half boner.

I'm ceramic.
They notice that the latest printed news on Blair is that she hasn't been seen with Prince Louis for weeks! Chuck blows this off since it must be, "lies made up to sell newspapers to women who collect ceramic cats." Lucky Cat throws the side eye:

Some stuff happened in the middle of the episode with Nate, the Congressman, and Nate's dad. I don't know if it's that I can't follow along or that I just don't care about this storyline. Max shows up and says: "Charlie is Ivy!" Nate responds, "I don't believe you!" and Max gives up and walks away. He is awful at exposing lies. Later he approaches the Congressman to make some sort of deal that once again I don't care about. Why do they keep casting non-extremely attractive men as guest stars? Cause I guess he's ok looking. He's just not CW standard.

Since Blair is being watched like a hawk by the paparazzi, she's decided to become a shut-in. Luckily for us, Dorota is around to put her in her place and say things like, "Need to marry Louis to be a princess." Touche.

One pap finds a way to get into her house so she decides she needs to escape the UES. It just so happens that with Rufus's nudging, Dan has decided to tell Blair how he feels. He calls and she invites herself over. Awww. Could it be? Could Dair FINALLY be happening?

Find out if it is after the JUMP!


Even though Dan was very sweet and practically offered to love her royal baby as his own (he's had practice remember?) he could tell her heart was not into him. I sighed along with Dan.

Chuck and Louis rush over [Chuck does more of a gangsta limp], but Dan had already taken Blair away to somewhere very, very, secret.

The wonder twins?
Ok so it was not at all a place far, far away from everything, but a secret room behind Charlie's party [what the hell?]. He leaves her there and goes off to find Chuck. To take to Blair. Because Dan actually loves her and wants her to be happy. Awwwww. But BOOOOOO.

To deflect attention from herself, Charlie lets Gossip Girl know that Blair's at the party. So they have to escape! Nate leaves in one town car, Blair and Chuck in the other. The paparazzi tail behind Blair and Chuck as they plan their future [since after the Ghost of Non-Biological Children Past, Lily, explained that love can be unconditional beyond genetic lines] and  KaBOOM - there's a car crash.

We get to see everyone again at the hospital while waiting to hear the news about Blair and Chuck. Serena's dress seems even more inappropriate. Seriously, did the hair budget go towards sequins and fringe dresses this season?
Sequins, bows, ombre and fringe.
Charlie is distraught at the fact that this accident may be her fault - she did after all inform Gossip Girl of Blair's whereabouts - and decides to tell Rufus that she's a fraud. But of course she gets interrupted by Lily. Seems that Blair is ok, but Chuck is questionable. Surely Blair lost the baby....but we won't get the real story until January 16.

Other plot points: Serena seems to be interested in Dan again [eye roll] and Nate, Serena and Dan are going to Take Down Gossip Girl! I hope they make shirts with iron-on slogans. As my friend wrote: "I can't wait to see Serena and Nate start scheming. I would bet money that their evil plans are written in crayon." She should really write this show.

I can't decide what I thought was the best and worst dressed so here are some pictures of the outfits:
This is sooo Kate Hudson Oscar gown: Ugly.

I loved Lily's dress - and hated the necklace they paired with it.

She lost her marbles - oh no, they're around her neck.
Oh, and I think there may have been a story line where Serena started hooking, but I can't be sure.

Soooo, what did you think about the episode? Are you sad that Dair seems to be Dead? Can anyone explain if jock itch or an STD would explain Chuck's pimp walk? And can anyone tell me what kind of lipstick/lip gloss they've been putting on Leighton Meester? It's gorgeous.


  1. Serena hooking = formal shorts. Dirty pop.
    Also, you caught the part that the motorcycle gang (aka paparazzi) was meant for Nate, right? The driver was all messed up thinking he was returning to the UES while the other car was going to el aeropuerto. So I'm guessing Nate's grandfather (it's his grandfather, not his dad. Remember his dad is some jailed-up, horrible finance dude--think Mischa Barton's dad on The O.C.) tried to have him killed. Or, his cousin tried to have him killed. It's his cousin that's the congressman, right?
    Why does Nate keep going back to his shitty family? They burn him every time. Just live at Chuck's hotel and take your shirt off for the camera now and then.
    Also, I cannot believe they did a Diana-esque car accident! I'm surprised they didn't put that scene in a tunnel too.
    I think you are right about Elizabeth Hurley being Chuck's mommy. However, EWW. I don't like her accent. Chuck should shun her. Even if she ends up donating a spleen or whatever it takes to bring him back to life.
    It was so stupid how everyone who showed up to the hospital was all, "I got your message" or "I got your text" to explain why they were there. Yeah, no shit. We know you don't *magically* show up at hospitals. It's perfectly reasonable and expected that they would contact you if there was a tragic accident. Ugh. Maybe they are trying to distinguish it from the times people randomly show up because they read something on Gossip Girl.
    I swear, if Serena and Dan get back together I'm going to shoot myself. Okay, not really. But still...
    Does "taking down Gossip Girl" mean the end of the show? If it does, it better take at least 3 more seasons. Is it wrong for me to read these books once the show ends?
    Also, bring back Michelle Trachtenberg. The show is much better with her Honey-Badger attitude.

  2. I'll fix the thing about his grandpa/dad. The thing that bugged me about "i just got a text!" was that THEY WERE ALL AT THE PARTY - together!

  3. I know the leaky car was intended for Nate, but I don't think that means the paparazzi gang believed it was Nate in that car. Also...how is it that Blair had a car waiting for her if she didn't even know where Dan had taken her?

  4. Did you notice that Nate still had the pictures of Diana up in his office?

    The books are easy night time reading. They've actually given the books a lot of nods this year particularly with Chuck's dog.

    Wasn't it established that the woman who claimed to be Chuck's mother than revealed that she wasn't Chuck's mother is really Chuck's mother?