Monday, August 29, 2011

Breaking Bad: Problem Dog

Lucky cigarette
Walt hatches a murder plot
Hank's getting closer.

Never have I been so happy to change the channel to Breaking Bad. Side note - I started watching the VMAs and realized: I am old. Through most of the hour I watched I was making a cross between a stink face and a confused face. Needless to say, I was happy to fall into the comfortable world of meth dealing.

I was also sad and complaining about the pile of clothes that need folding on my living room floor...but quickly feel better when the show began and we saw the horror that has become Jesse's house. I don't know how Aaron Paul cannot win the Emmy next year- this season has been all about the crumbling of Jesse. He plays a video game - Rage - you know, a gun one that parents hate. We see flashes of the monsters that he's  shooting, but also see what Jesse saw when killing Gale. It is still vivid in his memory, as I assume all murder would be.

Skylar and Walt are down at the car wash with Walt Jr.'s new car jamming out to old school Pretty Poison. The dealership didn't want to take the car back (it's true what they tell you about the value of a car once you drive off the lot) but Skylar sweet-talked them to take it back. I doubt it was all that sweet.

Walt then decides to exact his own type of revenge and take out some aggression by doing donuts in an empty parking lot. He isn't as careful as he should be (foreshadow!) and his car gets stuck on a parking lot car stop (that happened to me on a date once - embarrassing). He then decides the next logical stop is to blow the car up and call a cab.

Next logical step.
Too bad I didn't think of that. Nine minutes in and this is becoming my favorite episode of the season.

Find out if this episode lives up to the first 10 minutes after the JUMP!

Friday, August 26, 2011

Project Runway: Off the Track

Drama on the track
and drama in the workroom
all for New Balance

I have been waiting all day for tonight's episode of Project Runway. I had to find out why on Earth a challenge would require running. It has to be sports wear, right? Also, based on previews I know that danger was in store for my obsession, Oliver, and that this would be another team challenge. Team challenges are always dramatic, so I've been ready.


She's actually awake.
The episode begins with the designers once again talking about what happened in the last challenge, but this time, they have some clothes to wear from New Balance. Bert can't see them because he's old. Cecilia is asleep but because she always looks asleep when she's awake, Becky keeps talking to her.
Cecilia is very upset that she wasn't sent home and doesn't want to get out of bed. In the other apartments everyone speculates about the challenge.

The designers are taken to a track and field stadium where Heidi and Tim - adorable in jeans, tennis shoes and a blazer - announce that the designers will be put into teams and then the team will have to create an outfit for Heidi's New Balance line. To create the teams, all the designers will have to run ONE lap  (it's an indoor track - 200 meters only!) around the track and the first 4 who cross the finish line will be team captains. This is ridiculous.

As the runners line up on the starting line, Cecilia steps aside and talks to Tim and Heidi. She tried her hardest to leave in the previous challenge she says. But - she never said "Hey I want to leave." She also didn't just straight up leave. Idiot. Julie could've still been there. I can't blame her though. I might have quit if they made me run a lap on national television. At least she gets to leave with some New Balance gear!

The race is off. Bronze Josh is off to an early lead with Anthony Ryan and Oliver close behind. Did anyone notice how crazy Oliver ran? It reminded me of that episode of Friends where Pheobe ran like a crazy person. I think I just discovered one non-bland thing about Oliver!

Then - OLIVER FALLS! My heart stopped. Is he ok? To show me what happened, the producers decided to show it again - in slow motion. Just in case we didn't get it the first time.

The top four runners are: Bronze Josh, Bryce, Anthony Ryan and Viktor who says he only runs if someone is chasing him with a gun. I need some backstory on that STAT. Speaking of medical terms, Oliver's knee is so bruised. The paramedics start tending to him and all of a sudden he passes out! Tim's commentary at this time is priceless ("Good heavens! That looks bad!") and again, Tim is concerned:
I'm concerned.
Find out what happened to Oliver (oh and stuff about the challenge and consequent drama) after the JUMP!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Top Chef Just Desserts: Showpiece

Make a fairy tale
themed dessert and a showpiece
So we can eat it.

Welcome back to the crazy world of desserts! This won't be a full recap but here are some quick thoughts on tonight's Season 2 premier of Top Chef Just Desserts.

  • I do not know enough pastry/dessert terminology despite the fact that I love desserts. I had to google: Feuilletineile flottante, and bomboloni.
  •  Apparently you can call a raw vegetable a carpaccio - as with Melissa and Vanarin's Quick Fire dish that had "shattered banana carpaccio." Tomorrow for breakfast I will thinly slice an apple and have apple carpaccio.
  • I never thought i would think, "that sounds good" after hearing the words: pickled cherries.
  • Do not present a dish saying, "tonight we did a little bit of Elvis dying....and going to heaven." Too long of a pause!
  • Black and pink chef's coats are gorgeous.
  • Craig has such an annoying voice - but I kind of want to hug him.
  • Orlando looks like someone and I can't quite place it. 
  • Chris also looks like someone. I'm convinced it's a mix of Bob from the Biggest Loser and the scary meth head actor from last Sunday's Breaking Bad:

  • I'm very excited to see so many minorities on this show! Yay!
  • I can watch shots of people mixing melted chocolate for hours.
  • Dessert show pieces are amazing: they are not only beautiful, but they are edible. 
  • There was a lady wearing a knock off of Kate Hudson's Golden Globe gown!
  • Gail in her red riding hood reminded me too much of Eyes Wide Shut. As did all the masks.
  • I love Hubert Keller in a totally inappropriate way.
  • Vanarin wants to "capture the essence of woods in your mouth." This after he talked about how beautiful Gail looked and how Johnny's eyes looked deep into his soul. Dirty bird.
  • Some one said, "smile with your eyes!" as the losing teams went to the face the judges. Doesn't she know it's SMIZE?

  • Johnny looks like he grew up in between seasons. I give two thumbs up for the new hairstyle and updated wardrobe.
  • Poor Lina. I agree with her that Melissa threw her under the bus.
  • The rest of the season looks super dramatic which I look forward to. Desserts + Drama [on TV] = Good times. 
What do you think of the cast of Top Chef Just Desserts? Any early predictions? Do you think Lina should have been sent home? Isn't Hubert handsome?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Breaking Bad: Cornered

Ego versus Guilt
Walt gets swayed by both of them.
Jesse gets caught up

The show opens with someone breathing in the cold air again? Surely AMC didn't f up and are showing us a repeat? Nope, of course not. It's not Mike in the refrigerated truck this time, it's two cronies, armed with guns. They truck gets stopped and this time the cartel members have a different way of getting their cargo. After killing the driver, they rig the gas so the cabin fills with carbon monoxide and the two cronies are trapped inside. The three vatos hang back, snack and bide their time. Once the two guys are dead, they find the one chicken batter container marked with a star and take off. What a way to die: falling asleep in a room full of chicken batter.

Back at Casa Blanca, and after Walt's drunken rambling the night before, Sklyar realizes that Walt wasn't just calling to say he loved her the other day.

He was in trouble. Seriously trouble. She wakes up the hungover Walt and starts grilling him about Gale. Who killed him? Are you involved with these people? Will they one day want to kill you? "Nah," Walt lies. Again, his lying is improving. Skyler figured it out - that message was a goodbye. His drunken speech at Hank's was a cry for help. "I think some part of you wants Hank to catch you," as did so many viewers last week.

Skyler goes into amazing psychoanalysis mode and her comments hit Walt too close to home.
Now I get the haircut.
He throws everything back in her face: "I am not in danger - I am the danger. A guy opens the door and gets show and you think that's me? I am the one who knocks!" Oh, shit. Someone's ego got hurt.

Shower scene! This is the second week in a row we've gotten to see Walt naked (yay!) and like any good shower, he comes out clean and ready to talk things out with Skyler - but she's gone.
Hoot hoot!

Walt heads over to the car wash to talk to Eyebrows. "Being boss is tough...I  know you think I was hard on you, but you learn being in charge is not easy - it takes hard work....the real important thing is to be tough. A boss has to be tough. Has to make cashiers wipe down cars, even if they don't want to. Can you be tough, Walter? If not, then you can always call your wife." This speech accomplished a few things:

  • Eyebrows got to have a high and mighty moment
  • Walt got his ego bashed in once again about how he isn't as tough as Skyler; and was reminded that he was once a lowly cashier
  • Walt got to hear some words that will likely apply to his role in the meth making world. TV writers like when one situations words of wisdom end up applying to a secondary story (see: House)
Jesse and Mike are having a romantic dinner at the local cafe. Jesse has the shakes which Mike notices. Like a good boyfriend, he offers his food, "Eat something." Mike gets a phone call and takes off leaving Jesse to eat. "Do you need any help?" the eager Jesse asks? "Nope." Does Mike every need help? He's a bad ass. Bad asses don't need help. 

Walt Jr. got a phone call from Skyler and Walt Sr. is trying to get all the info he can out of his son. Walt Jr. takes to Walt Sr.'s side. "Gambling addiction is an illness....she can't even be mad at you." See Walt, even your son recognizes your addiction, he just thinks you are addicted to something else. 

On his way to drop off Walt Jr. at school the awkward topic of him moving in comes back up. You slept with mom but you aren't moving back in? He doesn't necessarily say it out loud, but he says it with his sad child eyes. Immediately Walt Sr. drives to the local used car dealership. Walt Jr. responds, "if you are gonna buy me off...[looks at billboard with shiny Charger on  it] buy me off." Someone is growing up. Walt Jr. gets his wish. Guilt is a powerful weapon. Walt Jr. 1; Walt Sr. 0

Back at the lab Jesse is waiting for Walt. Walt is shocked and pulls Jesse aside to ask about the dates runs he's been going on with Mike. Jesse is still convinced he saved Mike's life. Gus and Mike's plan worked. Walt is suspicious about why it has to be Jesse going along with him, " you have to have your hands registered as lethal weapons?" Jesse responds: 

Register THIS!

Find out what turns Mike on after the jump!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Project Runway: All About Nina

Scary ass challenge:
Today you will design for-
Nina Garcia

As usual we begin with a brief check in at the Atlas apartments, where the ladies are talking about the fallen Fallene - why she left and what they can do to avoid that. Cecilia,who looks sleepy, says she is ready to bring it. In the boys' apartment, Bryce is also ready to bring it. Based on the last two weeks' designs, I am not quite sure he knows what "it" is.

Heidi scares the crap out of everyone when she announces they are designing for someone who knows a lot about fashion: Nina Garcia. Becky is terrified because she is "alternative" and Nina is more "classic." They need to create an outfit for Nina that she can wear during the day and out in the evening. She's looking for classic - with an edge.

Probably not as on the edge as Lady Gaga. She asks for streamlined, tailored clothing with no volume or loud patterns.

The winner will get an ad that will run on taxi cabs! Wha? That's all? I'd want to win a taxi cab. But they won't.

They are given 30 minutes to sketch and then will each get a chance to consult with Nina. Each person is kinda freaked out about Nina's lame style. They are all crazy designers who want outrageous things like - color. Except Oliver who, as mentioned before, likes drab shades of white. Speaking of Oliver where is he? I haven't seen him once yet this episode. He's probably in the corner eating yogurt.

Nina hates everything! "Cowl" gets a scowl, "Mini dress" gets an ewww, all of Danielle's outfit gets changed by Nina's strong suggestions. Julie is going to make a coat - her genre, so she's happy. Kimberly doesn't want to make pants because that's what she's ended up making, so she suggests a dress, Nina says, "You make me pants!" Kimberly abides.

Cecilia is over thinking it and has way too much going on with her Dynasty-esqe design, which causes her to stress out. At this point I am wondering: is Nina really this picky or is she being this difficult on purpose?

Tim time! He says Nina does not want a boring runway of only grey clothes. Shucks. I was looking forward to that, especially because it meant we might see Oliver. At Mood, we find out Becky and Anthony Ryan find out they have purchased the same fabric! Drama will surely come of this, right? Cecilia is so distraught at the cost of the fabric she wants that her body gives out and she takes a nap:

Julie and Cecilia start to bond. Bronze Josh and Anya have also bonded. Then Bronze Josh goes to chat with Anthony Ryan. He's quite the gossip. I like it.

Find out just how mean Nina can be when she visits the workroom after the JUMP!

Josh Groban!

You raise me up and
Will appear on The Office -
My crush, Josh Groban

For some reason I LOVE Josh Groban. Not even cause of his singing (he does have a lovely voice and we listen to his Christmas CD during the holiday). I think he has an amazing sense of humor and is great in everything I have seen him in. It was just announced he was cast as Andy's brother on The Office.

Just for an idea of how great he is, watch this through the end (or at least to around the 4:30 mark):

Also - this:

I cannot wait for him on The Office!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

MasterChef: Finale

It took two hours
to narrow three down to one.
Congrats, MasterChef!

At this point there are only three chefs left in the competition: Adrien, the server from California who has a great sense when it comes to flavor, Jennifer, the blonde beauty queen who started off rough but has excelled in most challenges, and Christian, the stay at home dad who loves fish and is a dick. You can probably tell from that who I don't want to end up in the top three but of course that is up to the judges. The initial challenge this week is a mystery box. When they open up their boxes they see a familiar friend, this guy:

Hello again.

One of their very first challenges was creating a dish from the most popular meat in America, chicken, and they are put to the test again - probably to see how far they've come. Chicken is extremely versatile so each chef comes up with a very different dish.

Christian makes a chicken breast with an herb butter sauce and bacon on top of carrot puree. Jennifer uses a thigh and a breast wraps them in bacon and stuffs them with apples. Adrien goes a different way and braises only the dark meat in a mixture of herbs. While the judges are walking around Jennifer and Christian talk smack about one another and Adrien kinda hides in the back. Surprisingly there is no mention of the MasterChef line of cookware. I guess they took care of their marketing responsibilities in the middle of the season. 

At judging, Ramsey automatically grosses me out when he says the carrot on Christian's plate looks like a skidmark. His plating is not pretty, but his dish is tasty. Adrien's plate has such a small amount of chicken on his plate that I am sure he's going to get thrown a side eye from Joe, but he doesn't. His dish is delicious and Joe, a self-proclaimed rice snob, compliments his rice. Jennifer also gets praise for her dish but Graham points out that the breast is a tad overcooked.

Adrien ends up winning which doesn't get him much as far as immunity or a rose or whatever you can win on other reality shows but he does get to choose his dish's central ingredient first for the elimination challenge. This week they get to pick from Joe's three favorite ingredients to cook with (and probably to eat, but then again, he's really skinny): octopus, veal and mushrooms. In a possible strategic move to keep Christian away from seafood Adrien picks the octopus (the only reason I think this is not completely strategic is because Adrien really seems to like octopus and states that the first thing he remembers tasting was an octopus dish), Christian gets to pick next and decides to screw over Jennifer by picking the veal and leaving her mushrooms. But then - TWIST!- with a cheesy smile [why wasn't one of Joe's ingredients cheese?]  Jennifer reveals she's from Kennett Square, Pennsylvania - the mushroom capital of the world! Looks like Christian made a boo-boo.

Find out who the top two are and who earns the ULTIMATE CULINARY BRAGGING RIGHTS after the JUMP!

Monday, August 15, 2011

MasterChef: 4 Chefs Compete

Cook for more judges;
the ulitimate pressure test
lemon meringue pie!

It's already time for MasterChef's two part finale! There are only 4 chefs left: Suzy, who is dreaming of owning her own food truck; Christian, who has struggled to stay clean and get custody of his son; Adrien, who wants to shine through and got a hair cut; and Jennifer who compares this to the last sprint of a marathon 5k. I think the weakest at this point is Suzy, but I don't think a single person other than the producers (drama!) want Christian in the finale

The judges say that this time, things will be different - don't they always say that? They are bringing the contest to them. They have invited three MasterChef judges from around the world to come and yell about their food.

They are put into two teams of two and must make one dish - 6 portions - to serve all the judges. Suzy, as the winner of the last challenge, gets to pick the teams. No one wants to be paired with her except Christian who doesn't care who he is paired with because he thinks he is just the best. That leaves Adrien and Jennifer paired together. Suzy explains her choice by saying Adrien has really messed up in the past and Jennifer is just around because she has a pretty smile. Meow!

The teams have 90 minutes to create their dishes. Jennifer and Adrien decide to draw from their home coasts and do a lobster/spot prawn dish. Suzy and Christian can't decide what to do. She wants to do an upscale Thanksgiving dish - he laughs at her but gives in because of course, they are amazing chefs and can do anything. Plus, if it's terrible, he came blame her.

Christian begins to get annoyed with Suzy but he ruins his corn sauce which in turn makes Suzy annoyed with him. Annoyance all around. The other team though is working in perfect harmony and Gordon Ramsay takes notice.

The international judges are: Sebastian Demorand, a French food critic, Mical Ansky, a food writer from Israel, and Kunal Kapoor, a current nominee for chef of the year in India. They all look fancy.

Suzy and Christian's are the first to present to the judges. They present a seared duck breast, roasted sweet potatoes, caramelized fennel with a raspberry coulis.

Kunal loves Suzy's last minute sauce but Mical hated it, she does however like the monster potato mash. Joe continues to be an ass and calls their dish disrespectful. Christian then speaks up and says he is embarrassed by the dish and Joe jumps all over that. He can taste the animosity in the dish. Gordon is ashamed. Christian and Suzy exchange words in the waiting area. It's relatively tame and nothing compared to the snippet I saw of Hell's Kitchen before this.

Adrien and Jennifer's dish sounds amazing: spot water prawns over a blood orange, roasted red pepper, chipotle infusec coulis with an avacado corn and lobster base.

But it's not. Mical says it's all mushy and the sauce tasted like a watered down ketchup. The prawns weren't cleaned. Gordon does acknowledge that they had good team work. Time to deliberate.

Find out who makes it through to tomorrow's finale JUMP!

Breaking Bad: Shotgun

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Keeping up with the Kardashians: Talk to My Agent

Kim has Sears stage fright
Scott hijacks Kris's business
They hug it out

Khloe, Kourtney and Kim have an event at Sears to promote their new Kardashian Kollection. When Kim hears that there is a group of about 150 executives there to ask questions, she starts to panic. Once on stage she can't get a word out and Khole jokes about it. Stage fright sucks but you wouldn't think the star of a sex tape, multiple commercials and a reality tv show would have it. Kim does.

Since this whole episode seems to be about Kim's insecurities and shyness, there is then a focus on Kim's "Prince Incident." Turns out she was invited on stage during a Prince concert, wouldn't dance and Prince kicked her off stage:

Poor poor Kim. If I were here, I'd go hide in my room and roll around in my millions. That would probably make me feel a little better.

Kendall and Kylie visit Scott and Kourtney at home and let it slip that Kris left Kendall at a photo shoot for 12 hours. Scott mentions that Kris spends all her time making money off of Kim when she really should be focusing on the younger daughters. They hatch a plan to lie to Kris and tell her that they've decided to let Scott manage them. This won't be pretty.

Kim and Kourtney visit Ryan Seacrest's show and he grills Kim on her relationship with Boy Kris and with her on stage embarrassment over her Prince incident. We are reminded that she sucked on Dancing with the Stars. She states: "I'm never gonna dance again." Guilty feet have got no rhythm, Kim.

Kylie and Kendall decide to break the fake news to Kris after she's had one glass of wine. The best part of the joke is that Bruce is all about it. He thinks it is the most wonderful idea ever. Kris runs to a phone to call Scott and ask what the hell is going on. As she's away from the table, they fill in Bruce on the joke and he says, with fear in his eyes, "What's funny about making mom mad?" I'm surprised Bruce didn't hide under the table.

Find out how all their problems are solved before the 30 minutes ends - after the JUMP!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Next Food Network Star: Cook For Your Life & Pilots

Eliminate one
only two make a pilot -
one comes out on top

It's finally time to crown the Next Food Network Star! It's down to three: Vic, Susie and Jeff. All three spend some time in the morning reflecting on their journey and talk about wanting to make their families proud. We get to see pictures of Jeff and his adorable son. I wanted Jeff to win before, but now I really want him to win or his son might cry.

The first challenge of the day is to create their pilots - or so they think. Giada announces that even though there are three of them remaining, only two will be creating pilots. I guess Food Network cut the budget. In order to decide who will get to make their pilot they will have one more camera challenge where they will make the best dish of their life. They have this chance to show off all their skills.

Jeff decides to make a deconstructed version of his dad's eggplant parmesan. Vic plans to make an zuppa di pesce and is excited because he has a great story to tell. Susie decides to make her dad's carnitas dish which is port cooked in lard. Yay lard. When time is up, they hug it out.

Jeff goes first. His sandwich love came from his dad Gus. He created a sandwich with eggplant medallions. Giada says it's her favorite sandwich from Jeff. Bobby also likes it. Susie also talks about her parents and how they used to cook for the family. The carnitas are tender and they like the grilled cactus. I am not as impressed with her story as I was with Jeff. Vic goes last. I'm still not used to him being called Vic Mo (sp?). Bob says it's one of his best camera challenges but Bobby says he didn't at all talk about the technique to cooking the meal. That's kinda important on a cooking show.

Find out who the judges send home and who gets to create a pilot after the JUMP!

Next Food Network Star: Reunion

The chefs reunite
to talk about their time
vying for food star

The reunion on Next Food Network chef  was way more interesting than i thought it would be. I thought it would be a Bravo type reunion- lite, but it was very entertaining.

They start with recapping Vic's time on the show and how he made it to the finale. I still dislike him. They show his most memorable dishes: chocolate dipped asparagus and the La Changa. He reiterates that he is Mama's Boy now and not Vic Vegas although his forearm tattoos tell me different.

Susie's recap shows how she stated out avoiding cooking Mexican food but did like yelling out things like "Caliente!"[Her yelling is not near as annoying as George Lopez's.] It took her some time and strong urging from the chefs to focus on what she grew up with and telling her personal story in her dishes. She really blossomed after that decision was made.

Jeff talks about his wife. I get sad that he has a wife. He talks about how his son, Lorenzo will get to grow up seeing his dad go after his dreams. It's adorable. His montage talks about how he struggled between being too silly (Balls on the Roll) and being a great cook. Within his clips we see just how much Suzy loves him.

And then the awkwardness shows up. They ask Mary Beth if she would watch Jeff's show and she basically says "uhhhhhhh......" followed by a long silence. No one knew that there was that tension there - and we finally get to see a clip where Jeff tried to comfort her after she got eliminated and she tells him no. It's strange - I never saw any of that come through within the episodes. The editors were kind to Mary Beth cause today she seems like a bitch.

Find out what is said about Penny, after the JUMP!

White Collar: Season 4

Famous art forger
helps white collar division
of the FBI.

Can I just tell you all how much I love White Collar? I really started watching it because of how handsome Matt Bomer is. I hated him on Chuck as Bryce Larkin because he was Chuck's competition and I harbor feelings of love for Chuck Bartowski. As much as I didn't like his part of the love triangle, there's no way anyone could deny that he is a good looking man:

Once I started watching White Collar I loved him even more. How lucky of a guy is he that his character gets to dress in amazing suits and hats that make him somehow hotter than he already is?

More of my thoughts on season 4 after the JUMP!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Project Runway: Go Big or Go Home

Stilt wearing models
Bertzilla makes his debut
Kim Kardashian!

Hola Designers! This week's episode once again begins with the designers rehashing the sad disappearance of Mormon Josh. Bronze Josh is upset about it and decides to talk shit about Fallene and her hairstyling ways. Anthony Ryan says most recent winner Oliver is on his radar now and I just notice he looks a lot like Aaron Paul.
Heidi comes out to introduce the challenge on stilts. She's like a beautiful German giraffe! All of this challenge's models come out on stilts (these aren't the regular models are they?) and Heidi tells the designers they need to create something imaginative, eye catching, and "larger than life." The designers are put into groups of two by way of the button bag. The teams break down like this:

Bert and Viktor: Bert did not want to be with Bert and is not at all ashamed of saying that out loud; Bert is piiiissssed about it. Anthony Ryan and Laura: They will be adorable and I personally think have a great chance of winning this challenge. Bronze Josh and Julie: He thinks she is lost and did not like her last two designs. They have two very different styles that will be difficult to meld. Cecilia and Danielle: No drama there. Anya and Oliver: everyone ooohs and aaah at this pairing - they could be a front runner. Becky and Kimberly: Kimberly thinks Becky is plain. I hope this pairing is an opportunity for more Kim Quips. Fallene and Bryce: Both have something to prove since along with Mormon Josh, were the bottom designers last week.

Back in the workroom the designers start brainstorming. Already there is tension between Bert and Viktor since they can't agree on if Mae West ever wore skirts or not. What a stupid argument. This is not going to be good (well, it will for the viewers). Tim comes in: they have $500 to spend per team but only one day for the challenge.

The stilt models come in to get measured and one shows that she could birth a baby while wearing stilts:
Laura wants everything that is not circus and immediately they cut to Fallene reminding Bryce to "think circus!" Bryce and Fallene want to go "dark ballerina:"
Dark ballerina.
Bert continues to act condescending towards Viktor - "that's not Victoria, that's Elizabethan." I like it - it's funny. And really, Viktor? Your name is Viktor! You should know what is and is not Victorian [Viktorian].

At Mood the designers do not seem to agree on anything except for Laura and Anthony Ryan who seem to be working together the best out of all the teams.

Find out what happens back in the workroom after the JUMP!

So You Think You Can Dance Finale

After a season
of incredible dancing
A champion is named

I have always loved So You Think You Can Dance. I've never followed a full season (including try outs etc) and usually catch the second half, when it's narrowed down to the top 20 or so. I began watching this season and immediately added it to my DVR list (you can watch this show in like half the time if you FF through the judging) after seeing this dance:

I thought it was gorgeous and Melanie and Marko won me over. I've been rooting for them all season.

The other two dancers in the finale had some amazing dances through the season too. Here's Sasha's hip hop routine with Twitch:
That dance is what finally made me like her and see what the judges raved about.

Tadd was just plain fun. A complete showman. I don't know the history of the show, but has a beat boy ever made it this far? Here he is dancing leaps and bounds better than Jordan (nah, it's not that bad, I just wanted to say leaps and bounds):

Find out who won after the jump! 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

MasterChef: 5 Chefs Compete

Only five remain
First a mystery challenge
Then they cook Bambi

Five chefs remain in the race to be the next MasterChef: Susie, Adrien, Jennifer, Ben Starr, and Christian. They are brought to the MasterChef kitchen where they are all given a mystery box. Chef Ramsey asks what they want for Christmas to cook with. "Some kind of meat," says Jennifer. "Some fish!" exclaims Christian. "Some flour, butter and baking powder!" wishes Ben Starr. Turns out that they got ground meats and some veggies which is the mystery box equivalent to getting coal in your stocking. Ben is excited because he thinks he can make a glamorous Shepard's pie.

None of these shepherds.
Susie also decides to make a Shepard's pie, Christian is making chili, Jennifer is making a meatloaf, and Adrien is making a trio of meatballs. Commercial break - did you know MasterChef's all steel pans are non stick because they use thermalon? No. I didn't either. Oh, and that wasn't a commercial break. Graham explains the pans' amazingness and Adrien doesn't seem to care in the least bit.

Chef Ramsay points out that he's grown up eating Shepard's pie - so it better be good. The judges seem most excited about Adrien's dish. Since the judges will only try three out of the five, each chef takes extra care to make their dish presentable. Adrien's looks amazing in my opinion:

Susie thought it looked like vomit on a plate. She needs glasses.

The three they decide to try are:

  • Jennifer's meatloaf with roasted corn and homemade ketchup
  • Adrien's trio of meatballs
  • Ben Starr's Shepard's pie
Susie and Christian are steaming that their dishes were not chosen. Jennifer's dish is lauded as wonderful; Adrien's "salty balls" do not live up to the hype; and Ben Starr's glamorous Shepard's pie makes Chef Ramsay happy - all the jugdes get giggly. It's cute.

Find out who wins the mystery box challenge and what the pressure test is after the JUMP!

MasterChef: 6 Chefs Compete

The remaining chefs
cook a meal at Patina
salmon gets filleted 

There are only six remaining chefs so the intensity of the competition is increasing. Christian, Ben Star, Susie, Tracy, Jennifer and Adrien are introduced to this week's challenge: they will be running the kitchen at Patina - a Michelin Star winning restaurant. Ben Starr is in such shock during his interviews his hat must have flown off:

Where's my hat?!

They are divided into two teams. Tracy gets to be team captain for her third time and selects Adrien and Jennifer. Susie selects Ben Starr and gets stuck with Christian on his team. He's a great chef, but his personality sucks. No one wants to be around him and his bandanas. Susie lies to the camera (in case Christian wants to murder her after the series airs) and says that Christian was her next choice.

The chefs will have to replicate four dishes: hamachi, lilly risotto, scallops and beef two ways. Each dish is intricate in flavors and precise plating. They seriously use a ruler on a dish. Ben Starr is equally in awe:


The team captains take charge and assign stations to each person. Christian and Tracy will both work on the risotto which is the station I worry most about (I've seen Hell's Kitchen). Christian is worried as customers begin to trickle in the restaurant and orders start coming in. To add to the pressure, Gordon Ramsay will oversee the service from the back of the kitchen. This will mean lots of yelling. The blue team is all prepped and ready but the red team is MIA.  Chef Ramsay takes that as his first opportunity to yell at Susie.

Find out of Chef Ramsay yells at Susie any more - after the JUMP!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Keeping up with the Kardashians: What Happens in Vegas

Kris is a bad mom.
The poor man's Patrick Bateman
Goes to Las Vegas.

This won't be a long recap because I think the episode was pretty boring. The two scandals(!) this week were that Kris realized she wasn't as an involved mother with her younger children as she had been with Rob, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney. She awkwardly tries to insert herself into their lives and learns a lesson that she should spend more time with them. Is it terrible that I think it might be a good thing that Bruce seems to be the dominant parent with Kylie and Kendall? He's really adorable with them and seems to be a good father.

The second scandal of the week is that Scott is invited to host a party in Las Vegas. Kourtney and his therapist worry that this isn't good for his progress. He feels confident that he can behave in Sin City despite his history there. He does end up drinking, but doesn't seem to be more assholish than he regularly is. The end of the episode has him telling Kourtney that everything was under control. I can't tell if he was purposely hiding the fact that he did drink in Vegas from her or figured things didn't really get out of control so I am telling the truth.

My favorite part of the episode was the clip of Scott on Fashion Police dissing Kim's dress. He was honest- that dress was horrible.

Hopefully next week's episode will be a little more exciting.

Breaking Bad: Bullet Points

Walt sees the notebook
Mike has an ear-y moment
Jesse is taken

Breaking Bad usually has a pretty bad ass opening scene that sets up the tone of the episode. This week’s episode, Bullet Points, was no exception.

Mike’s traveling along in a Los Pollo Hermano’s refrigerated truck. From inside the truck, we hear it come to a stop, some arguing and finally a gunshot. Instantly, the truck is riddled with bullet holes. We see two men outside wait one second and then open the truck. There is no way anyone inside could have survived the barrage of bullets. Little did they know that the person inside was Mike, who of course survived and instantly kills both men. For an old dude, he’s kind of a bad ass. He walks out of the truck, into the middle of the desert in his snow gear, pulls off his hat and exposes the one chink in his armor – a bloody ear. The cartel is back.

Back at Casa Blanca it’s 3:01am and Skyler can’t sleep. She grabs a notebook and starts writing. They need a story. They attend a Gamblers Anonymous meeting to do some research. Walt takes this opportunity to nap.

Not this Kelly or this principal.
Skyler is convinced that Walt needs to be able to prove his blackjack skills. Using a mathematical principle, “The Kelly Criterion,” Walt tries to win at cards. This principle fails. So they turn their efforts to Sklyer’s “Confessions to Hank” script. 

As uptight as Sklyer is being she wins me over a little when Walt says he looks like the bad guy in all this. “I’m just the bitch mom who wouldn’t cut you any slack.” I actually feel sorry for her. It’s true. Her son and her family don’t know about the drugs. They already think she’s kind of a bitch (I mean they have to, right?). Now she just looks worse. This also touches Walt and he softens towards her. Again, I love where their relationship is going. They love each other but hate each other as business partners. Bryan Cranston’s sheer exasperation during this scene is as wonderful as his acting during the more intense material he is given.

The entire White crew heads over to Hank and Marie’s and Hank continues to be an asshole. Marie tells him to show them his rocks. MINERALS! Even I know not to call them rocks, Marie.

Find out what they discover in Hanks bedroom (it's not Cheetos) after the Jump!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Next Food Network Star: Iron Chef

Kitchen stadium
Alton Brown will challenge you
So bring your A game

There are only four remaining contestants on the Next Food Network Star: Mary Beth, Susie, Jeff and Vic. They all take a moment to say serious things about how important this has become and how they are all in it to win it. Vic instantly mentions "mama boy" twice since last week he dropped the Vegas facade. I am already annoyed.

The challenge this week is the ever important Iron Chef challenge! The are taken to kitchen stadium where they have their own versions of Iron Chef portraits hanging on the wall. Alton Brown describes the challenge: there will be two battles of two chefs at a time. Each will have one hour to create three dishes using the day's secret ingredient. When not battling it out, the remaining chefs will be required to provide commentary to show off their culinary knowledge. We know Alton will ask crazy hard questions just to try to trip up the contestants. Jeff is excited about this challenge and gives Alton [and all of us] sexy eyes:

Hi there, handsome.

Since Jeff won last week's challenge, he is allowed to pick his challenger and he picks Susie. In my opinion this is a bad decision as she seems to be his biggest competition cooking-wise of those left in the competition (if you think it's Vic, remember the La Changa).

The contestants get a sous chef and get to choose from: Penny, Whitney, Jyll and Chris. Chills run up Mary Beth's spine when she sees the Mediterranean Mama walk in the door. Jeff gets to  pick his sous chef first and picks Whitney. The rest of the contestants pick names out of a hat. Susie gets Chris, Vic gets Jyll and of course Mary Beth picks Penny's name and she feigns excitement. This is about to get interesting.
Read more about the events in Kitchen Stadium after the JUMP!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Project Runway: My Pet Project

Let's visit Pet Land
Select your materials
And create couture

Welcome back, design-ahs! This week starts with Mormon Josh thinking about his bad runway challenge and feeling sad that Rafael wasn't there any more. Rafael was certainly the topic of conversation - where could he possibly be now? Bronze Josh missed Rafael and his hair. Yes, this hair:

[My bff] Kimberly says he's probably off entering a Beyonce look-a-like contest. Uh, no.

Bert now has a target on his back, but luckily has immunity this challenge, and is used to it as it is, "the price you pay for being fabulous."

Heidi greets the designers to the upcoming challenge by saying they will get to unleash their creativity. Bronze Josh's mind immediately goes: unleash -> leash -> fetish -> S&M. I knew I recognized him!

Josh, is that you?
Tim Gunn meets the designers at Pet Land and we find out Oliver was possibly the Asian version of the kid from the Omen, "I used to have rabbits when I was young [pause] but they all died." I can't tell if I am scared of him or in love with him. The beigeness intrigues me.

The contestants are reminded to buy unconventional materials with the $300 they have. Bert asks if live animals are off limits and I am really starting to wonder if Charles Manson was in charge of casting this season.

Fallene is excited - she doesn't take fashion that seriously, this will be fun. Then why the f are you on Project Runway? Anthony hangs back to observe and try to not follow the pack. We see filters, pet food, wee-wee pads, litter, dog beds, aquarium sand and cones of shame all being purchased.

Anthony Ryan comes up with the idea of using bird seeds to create a bead like design on a muslin dress. Cecilia wants to do the same thing but with dog food. I will say that Anthony has no chance of finishing his original plan in the time allotted. Oliver gets to talk this week and we learn he is inspired by culture because he has lived in many countries - probably running from the law after rabbit killing sprees. Bronze Josh wins my heart when he says that other people think less is more but he thinks, "more is better" just not on his eyebrows. For some reason, everyone thinks Fallene will rock this challenge - because she looks artsy. Appearances can be deceiving - especially when the show is focusing this much on it.

Tim comes in and does his critiques: Vikor's wee-wee pad dress is amazing and absorbent, Bert needs to step it up, Mormon Josh needs to let the top of his dress dictate the bottom, Oliver's ombre skirt idea makes up for his conventional material top, Cecilia has too much going on, Julie's model might move like a board, Danielle's could be very chic, Bryce needs to make the wee wee pads work, Lauren's cone of shame dress has potential, Bronze Josh talks a very long time to try and describe what his plans because he pretty much has nothing to show. Commercial break!

Read more of Tim's critiques, my thoughts on the runway show and who went home after the jump!

Kanye and Gordon Ramsay: The Reality Show?

Yo Gordon Ramsey,
I'm gonna let you finish...
teaching me to cook.

So apparently Kanye West has hired Gordon Ramsay to help teach him how to cook. How amazing of a reality show would this be? I really love Kanye West's crazy antics and would love to see the fireworks if Gordon Ramsey ever flips out and decides to SHUT. IT. DOWN.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

MasterChef: 8 Chefs Compete - Again

Childhood pictures
Grilled cheese and tomato soup
Can Christian please leave?

Everyone is still in shock that no one [Christian] was sent packing on last night's MasterChef. Christian is uber excited and yelling "Top 8 Motherf-ers!" This I do not understand because 1) he was in the top 8 yesterday and wasn't as excited and 2) top 8 is such a random thing to cheer about - top 10, top 5, top 2, I get, but 8?

The first contest is a Mystery Box challenge. OOOOOH! This mystery box does not contain the answers to why Suzy is wearing a stupid hat, but does contains: live jumbo shrimp and crawfish, Alaskan King Crab, buffalo rib eye, short ribs and a dry aged porterhouse steak. Surf and turf time! Ramsey requests something magical:

Not this magical.
Christine seems frazzled as usual. "Her mind isn't here today," Jennifer says. She's right, Christine seems drunk. There's an 87.2% chance she is.

In an amazing turn of events it's only eight minutes in and there have been 3 Tracy sightings! But she has yet to be allowed to talk. Maybe later. It's now time for the ubiquitous MasterChef cookwear shout out: the new all steel MasterChef pan has no PTFEs on them! A-mazing! Thanks Graham, I hope you are getting some royalties from the cookware's sales.

Since with mystery box challenges they judges only try three dishes, they choose:
Adrien's braised short ribs and crab salad;
Suzy's prawn bisque and - Ack! Interruption! Tracy gets to talk and uses that time to put down Suzy! I like it! - bison with pan gravy; and
Jennifer's risotto with short ribs and crab.
Adrien's is decidedly delicious but not quite magical:
Suzy's dish needs some seasoning but is also deemed delicious. When Jennifer is called up as one of the top three dishes Christian is pissed. Her risotto gets rave reviews and Gordon Ramsey invites Christian to come taste Jennifer's dish. "Very good - I've had better," he spits out. Ramsey puts him in his place and once again he walks back pouting like a child. 

Find out who the winner of the challenge and what the elimination challenge is after the jump!

Monday, August 1, 2011

MasterChef: 8 Chefs Compete

Top 8 compete at
New Kids on the Block Party-
Don't stir my sugar!

The remaining teams are taken to a neighborhood where they are met with a hula hooping Graham Bowles [to me it looked like he was using it as a Skip-it]. The two winners from last week, Christine (crazy) and Christian (crazier), are made team captains. The challenge is that the teams need to feed 200 children sliders and a side - without using beef or potatoes. Duh, regular burgers and fries would not make someone a MASTERChef! Christian's team, the Blue team, includes: Adrien, Darren, and Jennifer; while  
Christine's team, the Red team, includes: Ben Starr, Tracy (who?),and Suzy.

The Blue team decides on a pretty plain Turkey Slider with a side of Apple slices and Caramel. As expected, Christian doesn't listen to anyone's suggestions about making the team's turkey burger moist and boasts that his team will win with their healthy options. Christian is of course at odds with his team over mustard but bonds over talking shit about the deep friedness going on across the street. That soon passes as he starts micromanaging Jennifer's cooking and - egads!- stirs her caramel. How dare he! Stirring = crystallization. Crystallization = as bad as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Good thing kids like sugar in any shape or form.

The Red team decides to make a Chicken Nugget Slider and Corn Nuggets that Ben says he's seen at buffets and kids just gobble them up. I've been to a TON of buffets and have no idea what a corn fritter is. I've even been to Paula Deen's buffet and didn't see them there. Ramsey seems disgusted that the chicken nugget will be deep fried and served with a side of more deep fried stuff. I disagree and think a plate of deep fried goodness sounds like a winner. Seriously, the other team has apples, that's fiber, it all evens out. Unfortunately, the deep fried chicken doesn't work out so they decide to grill the already breaded chicken (ugh) which dries it out. Ben offers that everything they serve will be drenched in ranch dressing. A man after my own heart - too bad I don't think I have the body parts he's after.

When the kids arrive they surprisingly spit out the same words the judges used early on to describe the team's food. Amazing! These kids are mini-culinarians, I tell you (eye roll).

The Red team starts to lag behind and immediately all the kids' blood sugar drops and they come to a near riot. "Burgers! Burgers! Burgers!" they shout, but I think one confused kid in the back yelled boogers on accident. Oh, kids. They do the darnedest thing. Gordon Ramsey is kind of adorable with kids. That makes me smile. And it didn't even have to be deep fried.

[SOOOOO not only have they really been pushing the new MasterChef line of cookwear, they now give out a kit to each kid who participated. I hope they didn't include the knives that Graham talked about two weeks ago. Speaking of danger - where are these kid's parents?]

To find out who won and what happened in the Pressure Challenge, read more after the jump!

Keeping up with the Kardashians: The Have and the Have Nots

Only Kris Jenner
Would turn a leaky bladder
Into a new job

This week's two storylines on Keeping up with the Kardashians involved: 1) Kris's incontinence and 2)Kylie and Kendall being brats.

So the second storyline first. Kendall and Kylie are rude to their parents and Bruce does feel like it's a little bit his fault. We get to see Bruce fly his (model) helicopters and while out enjoying his hobby when he gets a phone call asking about some unusual activity on his credit card. He knows it has to be Kylie and Kendall who took his credit card without asking. Bruce says his kids don't understand the value of money and decides that they should do some volunteer work at a local mission. Kourtney comes along and it really does seem to be a learning moment for the girls.

For info on Kris's bladder issues read more after the jump -