Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Gossip Girl: The Big Sleep No More

Diana played games
Chuck hosted a benefit
Dan is MIA

This week's episode of Gossip Girl had so many twists and turns: Chuck tried to be good, Blair came on to  Chuck with the worst pick up lines and they ended up kissing, Serena meets someone from Ivy/Charlie's past, Diana and Nate play the games that lovers play (ha!), Dan goes AWOL and the group attends a benefit/Eyes Wide Shut play where everyone wears masks and some of the actors bathe in blood (really). With all those great ideas, this episode fell ridiculously flat.

Instead of an actual recap I present to you this, my conversation with my lovely friend who also watches Gossip Girl [please excuse our lack of punctuation, capitalization and any spelling errors!]:

me:  did you watch gossip girl
 Y:  yes. i groaned throughout all of it.
WHY do we still watch this show?
now i just sit and shout at the characters about how stupid they are
 me:  i had given it up but came back to it
 Y:  and tell dan to comb his hair already
 me: poor sad dan
 Y:  this season is the worst
 me:  that party was awful
 Y:  omg - yes
 me:  Blair was acting like an idiot? Is that what it's like when you are pregnant? 
Every time Diana says "blog" it sounds like she's coughing up phlegm
 Y:  diana's character is the most ridiculous thing ever
me:  she's a loser, "let me fuck with these kids and make it not at all interesting"
 Y:  i can' t believe she went to the apt of a guy who has a roommate - she's like 50
 me:  and chuck
what was up with that
"i'm good"
 Y:  are we suddenly supposed to think he's good?
 me:  right?!
 Y:  that was so bizarre this show has never been good at letting something develop
 me:  it was so instant
i did like blair'a hat and animal print dress - the hat was an upgrade from last week's dead parakeet
 Y:  i only liked her fantasy dress
and you couldn't even see all of it
and every time she said louis i wanted to vomit
 me:  oooh i liked that they acknowledged her real life bangs in that scene
Y: everyone's clothes sucked
 me:  now that i noticed charlie's voice - i can't stop thinking about how awful it is
and she cant seem to find a dress that holds her boobs in - and she has NO boobs
two positives: serena's hair looked much better and no louis
thats all i can come up with...
serena's mask party dress was AWFUL i think it had fringe AND beads AND sequins
Y:  OMG i remember saying "WTF are you wearing woman!" at her
why is she wearing these terrible skirts???
i feel like this is one of those "stop trying to make fetch happen!!" moments
stop trying to make ugly too short skirts happen!
 Y:  for realz. i fully support the "uncombed hair" as a movement in my personal life
but not on tv - i need my tv characters groomed

The End!


  1. I squealed when I saw you actually posted our g-chat. Now I feel pressure to make our chats more amazing than they already are. I found something positive to say about this episode: I really like that Chuck's dog's name is Monkey. It makes me want to name all pets by generic Other Animal Names.

  2. Oh course I posted it! I just took off you name in case anyone from your fan base in Denmark decided to google you to see all the educational literary works you had recently completed

  3. Diana looked great in the purple dress. Dan's hair remains awful. Charlie's voice is getting worse, but she had a very nice dress on at the benefit.

  4. am i didn't get the blood bath part..weird!