Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Gossip Girl: The Return of the Ring

Oh Gossip Girl. What did I do to deserve the POS you put out there as the season finale? It’s almost like every single character (ok not all) thought: “What can I do today that is incredibly stupid?” then did it.

Here's my thoughts on the good and the bad of the episode, broken down by character.

The bad:
1)      Decides to wear not only one, but two skirts that are way too short for her.
2)      Entitlement is off the charts.
3)      Seduces Dan and records it but doesn’t hide the camera very well.
The good:
1) Turns back to her party girl, cocaine sniffing ways. I actually liked this part.
2) Her dress for the divorce party was nice.***

The bad:
1) Fails to get a haircut.
2) Puts a timeline on when Blair has to declare her feelings for him – but then doesn’t wait before….
3) He has dirty bar sex with Serena.
4) Finds that Serena’s iPhone has recorded their interlude but DOESN’T DELETE IT.
5) One week later, still has not cut his hair.
The good:
1) He went to Rome.
2) He found Georgina and is now in cahoots with her.

The bad:
1) Asks Lola to move in with him after insulting her dreams by thinking she’s gonna play an oompa
2) Is a little slow.
The good:
1) His eyebrows.
2) He has a tape that possibly shows who gossip girl is (and they are rifling through what looks like actual
        dirty laundry). He may be the one to unmask Gossip Girl –OR maybe HE’S Gossip Girl. I’d love that.

The bad:
1) That pink skirt. Too tight, too short.
2) She needs to grow up – or at least stop acting like she has grown up.
3) Stop trusting (and really having) minions.
4) Chuck? Again? Really?
5) She needed to break up with Dan first before heading off to see Chuck.
The good:
1) Eleanor is her mother.
2) Cyrus is her step-father.
3) She at least has tried to apologize to Dan.
4) She kicked out Serena. It’s about time. I wonder who gets to keep that bird thing Serena had hanging
         over her bed.

The bad:
1) Stupidly trusts Bart.
2) Wore a light grey suit to a press conference.
3) Doesn’t want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf.
The good:
1) I guess I’m ok that he turned down Blair cause they need to fill 11 more episodes and you know these
         writers are gonna make those 11 all about Chuck and Blair.
2) We got to see that Jack is dealing with his HEPATITIS ok.

Other characters: The lily/Rufus/Bart storyline is ok I guess. I feel like Lily is getting screwed. Bart’s face doesn’t move and Rufus looked cute except for that weird necked sweater. Lola is the stupidest character that has ever been on this show. And Nate and Serena are on this show. That says a lot.

Did anyone else notice Dan was wearing a shirt that only had buttons halfway down it? It was weird.

So….are you satisfied with the season finale? What do you think the last eleven episodes will be about (spoiler: Chair)?

*** About this “divorce party”: do we know those people? [Answer: YES! They are the couple that got married at the beginning of the show when Serena had sex with Nate (while dating Blair) in the same spot she just had sex with Dan (while dating Blair)]Why was everyone invited? Do you really compliment the divorcee by saying, “You look just as beautiful in black as you did in white?” Is that a thing? And was anyone else pissed that the cake was cut in half? I understood the concept, but that whole area was gonna dry out. Don’t ruin good cake. Oh wait – these people are rich, and skinny. They don’t care.


  1. This drove me crazy. Everyone kept saying SIGN THESE PAPERS. I NEED YOU TO SIGN THEM. And then they would LEAVE! I kept shouting at the TV "Well just WAIT and get them to sign them RIGHT THERE." So retarded.

  2. Best line of Gossip Girl, EVER: "I don't want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf. I'm Chuck Bass."
    I'm okay with the finale considering where this season was just a few months ago.