Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Gossip Girl: Gone Maybe Gone

Gossip Girl is back! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOx100000. Can you tell I'm excited? I wasn't really...I mean I was pissed they killed Dair (Chair = endgame = eyerolls from me) but then, today, when running on the treadmill thinking about TV I remembered Serena reverted back to her crazy druggie self! I'm excited. But then at some point What About Brian is gonna show up and Barry Watson doesn't seem to be the kind of actor who would play part of the drug scene so I'm guessing she'll clean up pretty soon. On to the final (shortened) season of Gossip Girl!

Thankfully, the show gives us a brief glimpse of where everyone was 4 months ago and what they've been up to all summer.

Chuck and Blair: doing it. Then separated. Hmmmm.
Dan: in Tuscany, getting hair cuts, with Georgina and  typewriter, saying things like "I'm parched"
Nate: figuring out who Gossip Girl is and running the Spectator alllllll alone.
Serena: OD-ing on a train while wearing fantastic shoes.


Lily and Bart: travelling to the Hamptons and the Seychelles, saw ERIC (he is in the Hamptons after all) and renewing their vows. They're gonna need to get them divorced and her back together with Rufus in the next 9 episodes. C'mon. Waffles.

Cut to the present, this week's zany advenure and my random thoughts:
  • Nate has a crazy mystery solving wall! Amazing. I love it. He's JUST like Carrie from Homeland. EXACTLY. 
The same.
  • Blair is in Paris with a straight, Parisian Kurt Hummell look alike. Oh goodness, he sounds almost exactly like Prince Louis.

The same.
  • Dan's been writing while Georgina looks on while wearing the craziest necklace. His hair looks......better? No, not really. It's like a white guy's attempt at the Kid n' Play look. 

  • They group is trying to get together to find the missing Serena. Scooby gang, reunite!
  • Chuck can really pull off a powder blue bow tie.


  • For some reason, (another mystery) Blair and Chick are not together. There's surely a dumb reason. 
  • Points to Gossip Girl for having people wear their seatbelts. I hate it when people on tv don't wear them. 
  • Georgina hopes that Serena is on drugs. HA! Me too.
  • Wait weren't these kids in college? What happened to that?
  • Ugh Blair's hair still looks terrible. And yes, she and Chuck made an "agreement." Good lord.
  • Rufus still wears tight jeans and poses strangely! [I barely noticed cause I was scanning the apartment for waffles]

  • Another Ugh. Ivy is still on the show. Living with Rufus. And trying to play Rufus. 
  • Ivy mentions Lola booked a show on NBC. Hilarious. 
  • This plot line - looking for Serena and stopping at a convenience store - is really boring. Unless....the writers have decided to put the "gang" in places they've never been before all season. The zoo, an actual circus, a desert.
  • BLAIR SAID COUNTRY STRONG!!!!! (please get her a guest role on Nashville) 
  • Geez they love showing off Blake Lively's weird fake boobs. My friend Lil said they probably have their own contract.
Someone hire me when this show is over!
  • Jenny mention! Red herring? Or a drop of a hint as to who Gossip Girl is?
  • Poor Rufus is soooo slow. Mentally.
  • Ok the searching for Serena just grabbed me back in with all the comments about Serena's possible wedding. The one liners are the best in the last few seasons.
  • So Serena/Sabrina is a big fat liar. "Wisconsin? Do you even know where that is on a map?" Ha! 
  • TWIST (not really): It's not Sabrina-rena's wedding - it's two gay men's weddings (David & David) who are wearing terrible hats. 
  • Blair is an idiot for dumping Dan. He's constantly the voice of reason. And the head of crazy hair.
Why do I love you?
  • Ivy trying to/successfully seducing Rufus is gross.
  • Blair and Chuck's reason for not being together is that they both have things they need to do before they can be together. What? I can't imagine the Chair fans are happy about this other than the fact that it allows a giant reunion to happen towards the end of the season.
Rufus agrees. Gross. Hint: get maple syrup flavored lip gloss
  • Ha! Chuck had to walk it off. Dirty.
  • I just realized that Amir (? - the lady with Chuck who I don't care about) is Nadia from Lost. Sayid needs to get in here and kill Bart Bass with his feet. Take Ivy out too. Sayid is probably Gossip Girl. 
  • Oh my. Dan walking in on Rufus and Ivy. His reaction was soooo perfect. Terrible that your father is sleeping with his invalid-ex-wife's fake niece, but worse that it's in YOUR bed. Oh Dan. This isn't starting out well for you.
Most disturbing image in Gossip Girl history.

My biggest complaints about this episode are 1) when reveal to Steven that Sabrina is actually Serena and he's not the one chasing after her being like "what the hell?! I thought you were the love of my life!" How is anyone so ok with that? And 2) Lily's terribly unflattering lace overlay dress. It made her looks so wide.

So what did you think? Only nine more hours! What's gonna happen? Who do you think likes breakfast more? Rufus or Walt Jr [on Breaking Bad]? What's up with Rufus's posing? Do you think it's cause his jeans are too tight?



2 comments:

  1. 1. Is it normal that Blake's leg looks like a mannequin's?
    2. The GG writers pay WAY too much attention to what the fans want. I want to tell them to grow a pair. Fans hate Jenny and Vanessa? They're gone. Fans want more Chair? Put it in the opening scene. Fans like the gang together? Make the whole episode about that. I wish the BB writers listened this much. Then Skylar would be dead and Bitch Please would still be alive.
    3. Rufus and his posing. WHy hadn't I noticed this before? Uh-mazing.
    4. If Jenny is GG, I will throw my shoe at the tv.
    5. If I were Dan, I would have slapped Serena back. You can't just slap people for truth telling. There are slap rules.
    6. If Sayid were GG, he would just say Whut Hoppen every two seconds, because that's how quickly this show changes its storylines.
    7. I can't be a Dair shipper when Dan has that hair. I just can't. I think Blair meant to slap his hair when she slapped his face.
    8. There are an unnatural number of limbs in that vomit pic of Ivy/Charlie and Rufus.
    9. I want Nate to take Serena down. He put his hard-earned company at stake to save her! And she was all "I'm not coming back!" Then she's back 5 minutes later? Get her, Nate!
    10. Eye roll count = 7.

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  2. One of the "gay agenda recent victories was established when homosexual autoworkers were successful in coercing the UAW management to quietly slip their gay and lesbian partners into the autoworkers benefit package...These same-sex gay and lesbian people had nothing to do with the auto industry and didn't work for the companies or earn these benefits.

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