Thursday, August 4, 2011

Project Runway: My Pet Project

Let's visit Pet Land
Select your materials
And create couture

Welcome back, design-ahs! This week starts with Mormon Josh thinking about his bad runway challenge and feeling sad that Rafael wasn't there any more. Rafael was certainly the topic of conversation - where could he possibly be now? Bronze Josh missed Rafael and his hair. Yes, this hair:

[My bff] Kimberly says he's probably off entering a Beyonce look-a-like contest. Uh, no.

Bert now has a target on his back, but luckily has immunity this challenge, and is used to it as it is, "the price you pay for being fabulous."

Heidi greets the designers to the upcoming challenge by saying they will get to unleash their creativity. Bronze Josh's mind immediately goes: unleash -> leash -> fetish -> S&M. I knew I recognized him!

Josh, is that you?
Tim Gunn meets the designers at Pet Land and we find out Oliver was possibly the Asian version of the kid from the Omen, "I used to have rabbits when I was young [pause] but they all died." I can't tell if I am scared of him or in love with him. The beigeness intrigues me.

The contestants are reminded to buy unconventional materials with the $300 they have. Bert asks if live animals are off limits and I am really starting to wonder if Charles Manson was in charge of casting this season.

Fallene is excited - she doesn't take fashion that seriously, this will be fun. Then why the f are you on Project Runway? Anthony hangs back to observe and try to not follow the pack. We see filters, pet food, wee-wee pads, litter, dog beds, aquarium sand and cones of shame all being purchased.

Anthony Ryan comes up with the idea of using bird seeds to create a bead like design on a muslin dress. Cecilia wants to do the same thing but with dog food. I will say that Anthony has no chance of finishing his original plan in the time allotted. Oliver gets to talk this week and we learn he is inspired by culture because he has lived in many countries - probably running from the law after rabbit killing sprees. Bronze Josh wins my heart when he says that other people think less is more but he thinks, "more is better" just not on his eyebrows. For some reason, everyone thinks Fallene will rock this challenge - because she looks artsy. Appearances can be deceiving - especially when the show is focusing this much on it.

Tim comes in and does his critiques: Vikor's wee-wee pad dress is amazing and absorbent, Bert needs to step it up, Mormon Josh needs to let the top of his dress dictate the bottom, Oliver's ombre skirt idea makes up for his conventional material top, Cecilia has too much going on, Julie's model might move like a board, Danielle's could be very chic, Bryce needs to make the wee wee pads work, Lauren's cone of shame dress has potential, Bronze Josh talks a very long time to try and describe what his plans because he pretty much has nothing to show. Commercial break!

Read more of Tim's critiques, my thoughts on the runway show and who went home after the jump!

We're back! Tim finishes his rounds: Anya's is messy at this point, Kimberly's look like a tire ran over the back of her dress, Becky's design is called "homely" by Kimberly, and everyone is worried.

When the models come in, every designer is worried about fit and time. Bert continues to act sour which is sad because last week he was really inspirational and I liked him. After the fitting Bronze Josh changes his idea completely, as does Lauren after her model's ass hangs out of the cone of shame. Cone of shame, indeed.

The two Joshes bond and my heart skips a beat in hopes that Bronze Josh will help Mormon Josh come to recognize that he isn't looking for wive[s], but husband[s].

The next morning many of the designers have a change of heart (not Mormon Josh saying he likes dong - yet), and change up their outfits. Time begins to dwindle and the glue guns come out. Times up - it's runway time!

Tim, Nina, Heidi and special guest judge Stacey Bendet - who is wearing a bow the size of a cheesecake on her head - take their seats for the show.

  • Danielle presents another bluish bottom with brownish top. The net top, made out of dog rope toy material is pretty darn cool.
  • Fallene's red textured skirt with brown tube top is not anything like what was expected from the other contestants. In other words, it's bland.
  • Anthony's dress is beautiful. He styled it with a thin brown belt that is just the perfect accent to the bird seed dress. I love the neck made of sunflower seeds. I think it's very elegant.
  • Bert's, well, his dress sucks.
  • Julie's dress/coat is a much better representation of her than her last outfit. It looks as though it's outerwear  made of cardboard. Huge improvement from last week even though she thinks it's weird.
  • Anya makes another colorful halter top and black skirt. She styles her model to look like here. Luckily without the GIANT earrings. Seriously, does Anya compensate for her lack of side head hair with earrings?
  • Bryce's dress looks like a box of tissues threw up on the bottom half of his model. He is upset about the top - I actually think the top is way better than the skirt. It's pretty bad.
  • Kimberly makes a corset top of aquarium holdings and a black skirt. Safe, not exciting. She's so funny but her  designs haven't reflected her personality at all.
  • Mormon Josh makes a boring purple halter with a green belt and black skirt. His model isn't wearing a bra and it does not help the design at all. Not good, Josh. You are probably going home.
  • Viktor's cocktail dress is completely made out of wee wee pads dyed different shades of purple. I love it. I would never know it was something a puppy would use to pee on.
  • Cecilia's is a dress made of hamster bedding (I guess she second guessed the dog food) in shades of turquoise and blue. It seems like it had potential to be great but it's ill fitting and sadly she has to compete against Anthony.
  • Oliver creates a shades of beige (like him) dress with a woolly top and ombre skirt. I think despite the cinched belt, it makes his model look wide. He also makes his model wear some white gunk on her eyebrows. 
  • Becky's dress reminds me of a parrot at a Renaissance Fair. That is all. 
  • Laura's totally redesigned skirt/top combo is great (even if the top is a little too low). The skirt is sleek and the top looks like one of those seat belt purses. She says she didn't use a single piece of fabric. Pretty pretty princess has surprised me so far.
  • Bronze Josh created a bright cut off shirt made of aquarium rocks with a see through skirt and visible midriff. It's brighter than all the others and just as fun as he is.

Judges top three looks: Anthony, Oliver, and Bronze Josh
My favorite looks: Anthony, Viktor and Lauren

Judges' bottom three looks: Bryce, Fallene and Mormon Josh
My least favorite looks: Mormon Josh, Bert and Bert (it was that bad)

Bryce gets raked over the coals for his "ugly napkin" er, wee-wee pad dress. Anthony's is beautiful if not a little too short. Oliver's dress is loved by Nina and the other judges. Fallene agrees with the judges that her's is dated and boring. Bronze Josh gets kudos for using color and unconventional materials. Mormon Josh (while wearing a short sleeved shirt, bow tie and fake military medal) gets told his sucks. Mormon Josh gets sent home and now I no longer have to call Bronze Josh bronze because he's the only Josh left. Sadness.

Word of the night: Wee-wee pads
Line of the night: "OH MY LORD OF THE RINGS!" - Viktor, will you come hang out with me and Kimberly? We can go eat cheese biscuits together.

As a side note, I hate when people are speaking in English at full volume and tv shows decide to use subtitles. Oliver's Madonna accent has PR subtitling like crazy and it bugged me until he said what I thought was Hakuna Matata but was really, "I will only work harder." Hakuna Matata would have only made me more intrigued by Oliver.

Next week - Kim Kardashian judges a challenge where the contestants are put into teams and have to make outfits for models on stilts. Long legs is not what I think of when I think of Kim Kardashian. Maybe that's what you think of. No? Also, I think her mom might have liked Viktor's dress this week.

Who is your favorite designer so far? Is Bert a one hit wonder? Do you agree that Mormon Josh is in the closet?


  1. Oliver's accent is so bad that they have to use subtitles. This despite the fact he was born in Columbus, Ohio and lived there until he was 16. WTF? He clearly only has himself to blame.

    "Worst. Gay. Ever." - an apt description of Mormon Josh.

  2. In the episode they kept talking about Josh C. and Josh M. (N? who the hell knows), and I was super confused. I thought to myself, "Self, why don't they just call them Bronze Josh and Mormon Josh?" That's so much easier.

    (Bronze) Josh will always be Bronze Josh. Even if there is no Mormon Josh.