Gossip Girl: Despicable B

I'm off to a late start cause of a fun happy hour with a friend, so here goes:

Gossip Girl starts out this week reminding people that magazines exist. Dan and Blair are adorable coming down from what was probably a lovely night of debates over Russian poets and lovely, non boring and non perverted, sexy times.

• Blair's robe = gorgeous. I still can't figure out why they haven't embraced Leighton Meester's bangs.
• We didn't get to watch the trial of the the century that invalidated CeCe's will. "How does it feel going from high class to high trash?" Does that guy work for tmz? Extra?
• Diana walks very manly at the opening of the episode which makes me cross my fingers that my (dream) suspicion that Diana IS Bart Bass might come true. Plus why is Nate agreeing to talk to him her? Don't sleep with your best friend's parent. That should just be a general life rule.
• Blake Lively looks really old for her age, right? 
• Blair's second, lounging around the house, outfit is also pretty. I can't tell what season it is though: Blair is wearing bright spring colors with a cut out back and Serena is wearing boots, tights, a scarf and a coat?
• I DO NOT like turmoil between Lily and Rufus....but I guess if Bart ends up being alive, their marriage is invalid and they'll have to get married/engaged in the season finale.
• I think Gossip Girl is pretty good at casting parents and children. I believe Lola could be William's daughter.
• I like that the writers acknowledge that BOTH Rufus and Lily are wrong in their argument. Cause like I said last week, Rufus is an idiot for putting up Ivy but then Lily cutting Rufus off? That was a low blow. How can he buy eggs and stuff for waffles?
• I like the face Nate makes when he figures stuff out. The eyebrows get extra acting action.
• Ha! Blair gets called out for being married less time than Kim Kardashian. Even Kris Humphries (who I actually like) is more interesting than Prince Louis.

More after the JUMP!

• Twenty minutes in and Dan says: "It's a cocktail party - keep it casual." I cannot wait for the evening gown Blair shows up in. I hope their are feathers involved.
• The music and pan out on Serena when she realizes that William is Lola's father was very LOST-ish. I think she feels the same TWIST reaction as I did when we found out Jack had hepatitis.
• Rufus is still sad! More aimless guitar strumming!
• How does Serena not tell Lily to sit down when informing her that William was having an affair with HER SISTER?
• Nate's pants are too tight. Don't ask why I was staring at his crotch.
• So Blair does not have feathers, but has sequins, gloves and tulle. 
• Poor Rufus - all dressed up with nowhere to go. 
• Again, you know the people at the cocktail party are intellectuals because many of them have glasses on. P.S. I wear glasses.
• Serena IS IN FLATS.
• Lily hates anything family style - including her family.
• The rich are very civilized in their confrontations. Lily serves a dinner to get her sister arrested. There's a lot blondes at this dinner. 
• Poor misguided Blair. I do like that Dan is getting his publicity and that he tells Blair the truth, doesn't bend to her will, and stands up for himself. THIS IS WHY YOU LIKED HIM, BLAIR! Never forget.
• Monkey is back!
• Why are all these people lying about whose vagina Chuck came out of? So stupid. 
• Of course Dan just sits in his big comfy chair, reading a novel, while still in his sports coat. Humphries!
• Ivy Dickens gets ONE MILLION DOLLARS?! What? Anybody out there need me to pretend to be their kid? Then she tears up the check? What a freaking idiot.
• "We're sisters now..." sigh, "half." Serena really is a sour puss this season. 
• Jack's tattoo is what gives him away in the picture Elizabeth sent to Nate that leads Chuck to think Jack is his father. You know what else that tattoo gave Jack? HEPATITIS.

In addition, Lola found proof that Serena is Gossip Girl 3.0 (and that is one tricky password). Chuck is now convinced that Jack could be his dad and that Elizabeth is really his mom. In the preview for next week, Diana says: "He thinks I'm his bloody mother!" with such British disgust because the truth is SHE'S HIS BLOODY FATHER! I would love that to be a twist....mostly for the facial reactions of all the cast and for Nate's shower of shame. 

Any  thoughts on where everything is headed as the season comes to a close? Follow @haikutv