Project Runway: Sew 70's

70's are back

Bert is a dirty old man

I hate the judges.

I think I may be the only person who missed Olivier. I've been sad all week that we won't have any more mumbling and anger over plus sized people who are bigger than the mannequins. We're also guaranteed to have less beige in this episode and for some reason that makes me sad.

The remaining 7 designers discuss the last challenge and the men come to a consensus that even though the challenges this season have sucked, they are all created with the purpose of challenging someone. Bronze Josh is the most vocal about how despite the challenge, you have to adjust. I have a feeling whatever this challenge will be, he'll be greatly challenged and won't be able to adjust.

They meet with Heidi - this has no point really. They no longer have the model swap and she never tells them what the challenge is. But at least this time, Bert makes some funny jokes. He's either become more well liked OR has threatened everyone enough that they are now scared of him:

This week's challenge is the Piperlime.com challenge! The designers need to create a look inspired by the sophisticated 70's - no vintage, no retro, and no tacky. Tim brings in Heather Archibald from Piperlime to help explain what they need to do:

Any relation to Nate?

This should be a breeze for Bert, who, in case you already forgot, is old. The winner's look will be mass produced and sold on piperline.com. The budget for this challenge is only $100.

The designers take some time to sketch then Tim comes in to escort everyone to Mood. Everyone is looking for a print or a plaid. Anya, who decided her bra was the best place to keep her money, loses the envelope that holds her $100.

Don't shake your money makers or your money will fall out.

When time is up, she still has not found her money. She can: 1) ask other designers for their change and/or 2) use muslin for her outfits. I am not the biggest Anya fan, but this sucks. She cries. I'm not 100% sure some of the tears aren't because she realized her hair will look crazy as it grows out.

Find out if Anya can overcome this challenge - after the JUMP!

But, like Tim says, she needs to make it work. Everyone is sooooo nice to Anya and offer her every scrap of extra fabric that she has. Viktor seems to be the lone hold out and I don't blame him. No one has started sewing - how do they know they'll have extra material? As I figured, Bronze Josh seems to be the most lost. He - of course - wants to be over the top 70's. I picture him sending his model out on roller skates.

The ladies have made a pact to tell each other the truth, which comes out when they worry about the pants Kimberly is making. I can already tell that they aren't keeping the pact because no one told Anya she was an idiot for losing her money. Viktor is pissed because Bronze Josh seems to be copying elements of his piece: last week was the fringe, this week it's a pleat on the back of a jacket/shirt.

At this point Tim comes in with a surprise! The designers will have $50 to make an additional one piece look. This time at Mood, Anya doesn't lose her money. I kinda feel like this was added just to help out Anya, but I guess there haven't been very many twists so far this season.

In Tim's walk through we get that Anthony Ryan is making his outfit too old, Bert's is too vintage, Viktor needs more safari, and Laura's is on the edge of bad taste, Anya is somehow making it work and Kimberly's has too much sex. Tweaks are made as needed by all the designers.

Then we get what seems like 45 minutes of them working in the workroom. Bert makes dirty jokes about his time at Studio 54. Meh. The most exciting part of this is that we get a (the first?) commercial for Project Runway All Stars. Nina does a voice over that they people are the stars of their season. Elisa? Michael Costello? Seriously? All Stars? I think "All-Star" to them means "people willing to show up." Kara Janx is back and so is Mondo. Should be good - or at least dramatic.

Runway time!

• Kimberly: I really like her one piece look of a pantsuit/vest combo turned into a one-piece. Her top and a-line skirt is alright. She claims everyone looks good in an a-line skirt - she's never seen me in one.
• Anthony Ryan: His first outfit has too much going on and all in ugly contrasting patterns. His maxi dress is ok, but just ok. I like the cut of it, but again the pattern is ugly.
• Bert: His two looks couldn't be more different. The first one - the chiffon overlay with sequins and hot pants - is ugly. His mini-dress is a much better look, but relatively plain, especially next to his first look.
• Laura: Her first outfit - a maxi skirt and halter top - have two contrasting prints. Individually I like both prints, together I just don't get it. Her second look, a jumper, came out really nice. The materials she chose flowed as her model walked down the runway.
• Bronze Josh: His first look is awful: a too large tuxedo shirt in pink and black and white print pants that seem to enhance the weird hip shape of the model. He is slightly redeemed by his second look - a maxi dress in an interesting print with a plain black top. Not perfect, but gorgeous in comparison to his first. At this point I just want to wear maxi dresses everyday. Then I remember I always look pregnant in them.

Worst Pants Ever?

• Anya's jumpsuit looks just like everything else she has ever made. Her giant pants and muslin top are ok but the pants are really giant and the color on the muslin looks faded.
• Viktor killed it. I just am not sure if his look is all that 70's. His safari inspired suit is beautifully tailored and his wrap dress second look is great. He picked a great ombre snake skin material that he incorporated in both looks.

Banana Republic challenge winner.

• Olivier created beige bell bottoms with a grey top. His second look was an almond shade mini dress.

The judges' top three designers: Viktor, Anya, Bert (!) (?)
My favorite looks: both of Vikto's looks, maybe Kimberly's one-piece...I'm not a big fan of most of the designs.

The judges' least favorite designers: Laura, Bronze Josh, and Anthony Ryan
My least favorite looks: BroJo's black and white pants, Anthony Ryan's top/skirt combo, Bert's sequins, chiffon and hot pants outfit.

Back in the waiting area (while the judges debate), Bronze Josh gets super defensive when Viktor disputes his argument that he wasn't born in the 70's so he had no idea what they were all about. Bert and Kimberly come to Viktor's back and Bronze Josh storms off.

The biggest surprise during the judges' deliberation is that they LOVE Bert's top! That top is terrible! Who are they kidding. Again, I just do not understand fashion. I do however understand why they love Viktor's t-shirt.

Anya wins. UGH. Like Bert,

Side note, the shaved part of Anya's head really is in the weird stage and she dressed like Mrs. Roper for the runway challenge. Can someone explain Anya's appeal to the judges to me?

Bert gets his mini dress also sold on piperlime.com, but he doesn't get declared a winner. Viktor got screwed. [As of 9 pm on Friday, Bert's dress is sold out and Anya's jumpsuit is not. Also, Anya's $11 outfit is being sold for $198 bucks. Talk about a mark up.]

It's down to Anthony Ryan and Bronze Josh as the bottom two. I GASP when they announce that Bronze Josh is in and Anthony Ryan is out. They totally kept BroJo in just for the drama. I hope only good things for He Who Rocks One, Anthony Ryan. Tim really seems upset about AR leaving, as am I. Goodbye, Anthony Ryan. I'll have to wait til Sundays to get my Jesse Pinkman fix.

Line of the night: "it's like they are going to the mall....or to bury something in the woods." I SAW THAT LIFETIME MOVIE, Bert! Lifetime appreciates the shout out.

Soooo, 2 readers I have, do you think the right person went home? Do you think Anya deserved to win?  How much time do you think Michael Kors spends coming up with his zingers? Follow @haikutv